On Angels Wings
by youwillneverknowme1
Summary: Amber has lived in la push all her life. She has three best friends Quil, Embry, and Jacob. Thing is she's in love with Jake, but what about Bella? Will she ever get her happy ending? Or is she doomed to a broken heart. Previously called "Shattered"
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guyss, this is my first fanfic so no flames please! Kay, its about a girl who lives in forks with her best friends jacob, quil, and embry.**

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Groaning i reached over and smacked my fist onto the snooze button of my alarm clock. Slowly i rolled over and slid out of the warm sheets and made my way to the bathroom. My feet padded over the chilled tiles as i flipped the lock on the door and started up the shower.

Oh sorry, you must be wondering who the heck i am. Well my name is Amber Davis im 17 years old and i have lived on the la push reservation all my life. Yeah i guess you could say that the little old rez gets boring at times, but i always have my three best friends to cheer me up. Embry and Quil are two goofballs that i would jump in front of a bullet for, and then theres Jacob Black. Probably the most gorgeous out of the three and the one i fell in love with.

Of course i could never have him. Especially cause he fell in love with some girl named Bella Swan and trust me i have seen the way he looks at her.

I dont stand a chance.

Yes, it hurts more then some of you will probably ever know but i wont give up. I just have this feeling like we belong together. Ya know? Well you probably dont so i guess that was a stupid question.

Anyways i stepped into my steaming shower and let the hot water pound on my sore muscles. I sighed as i shut off the water and wrapped a light purple towel around my body and turned on my blow dryer. As i dried my hair i scrutinized my appearance in the mirror.

I had long chocolate brown ringlets that fell all the way down to the middle of my back. My skin was much different then most on the rez. My skin was pale and flawless with two constant rosy patches over my cheeks. I had a pair of shockingly blues eyes framed by thick lashes and a small nose. I also had full pink soft lips thatnever needed any color.

All in all i was pretty good looking but i would never consider myself beautifull. No my mother was beautifull but, she died when i was ten from cancer. No one in my mind could live up to her shining beauty.

I sighed and marched out of my bathroom to rumage through my closet. Ipicked out a navy blue form fitted cashmere sweater and some light wash skinny jeans. For shoes i slid on some dark brown uggs and slipped my moms silver charm braclette around my wrist. i brushed my teeth then sprayed on my vanilla prefume. on my way down stairs i saw a note from my dad.

_Amber, _

_Gone to work, Have a great day._

_Love, _

_Dad_

I wasn't shocked nor suprised that my dad was already gone. Things were like that all the time now, we barely even talked to each other anymore. He was a doctor at Forks hospital, he left early for work and came home late. I didnt mind though i always had Jake, Quil, and Embry to keep me company.

Sighing i grabbed my worn leather messanger bag off of the coat rack and danced outside into the freezing rain. pulling open my bag i fished for my car keys. I had a black Honda Accord, It was a sweet sixteen present from my dad. I guess he remebered that year. Smiling when i found them i flitted out and unlocked the doors.

Climbing into the front seat i started up the car and crancked up the heat. Pealing out the driveway of our plain two stoory house, i sped off down the street.

**Kayy, so what did you think? I know its short but, the chapters will get longer! Please review! **

**Love all, Brokendreamer**


	2. Chapter 2

**Oops,**

**I forgot the Disclaimer, I do not own any of the Twilight characters.**

**Only the ones you don't recognize(:**

**Kayy,ONWARD!**

I pulled into an empty parking spot and hopped out of my car. I ran across the slick asphalt in order to get out of the rain.

Once inside I shook the water droplets from my hair and bounced over to my locker. Spinning the dial I shoved all my crap in and slammed the door with a triumphant smile. Looking around I spotted Quil and Jake walking down the hall towards me.

"Hey guys!" I said happily skipping over to them.

"Hey." Jacob said, his voice was distant with a bit of anger. I raised my eyebrows and moved so that I was walking backwards in front of them.

"Whats going on?" When neither of them answered me my eyes searched the halls for the boy who was missing from our little group.

Embry had been sick for the past two weeks. I had tried calling but every time he wouldn't pick up. I had started getting really worried and was about to drive to his house when his mom had called me back. She said that he was very sick and should be back at school in a couple weeks.

Well, it had been a couple of weeks and that boy still hadn't shown up.

My eyes grew wide as I thought about the reasons for Jakes anger. What if Embry died or had to move to Mississippi to get treatment for whatever disease he had?

"Omygod!" I shrieked as I came to the conclusion that Embry was attacked by a pack rabbits with rabies and could die at any moment. Before Jake or Quil could ask why I screamed I ran right into someone. (she was still walking backwards)

"Hey watch it!" The person growled and I whirled around to shout something back but was silenced when I saw who said person was.

Embry Call had grown, A LOT. He was now about 6 foot 2 and looked to be older then 17. He had muscles covering every part of his body and he had cut his hair to a short buzz cut style.

I gasped and stumbled back into Quil.

"Embry?" I whispered shock filling my body to the brim.

"Oh, hey guys." He said simply and turned to walk away but was stopped by Jacob who put a restraing hand on his shoulder.

"So now your hanging with Sam and his cult?" Came Jakes cold voice.

"Yeah" said Embry with the same amount of venom.

"What happened to you man?" Jake asked softly letting his hand fall away from Embry's shoulder.

"Things are different now Jake." He replied his eyes shifting to where Quil and I now stood behind Jacob.

"You will see soon enough." And then he walked off. Leaving a seething Jacob, a confused Quil, and a very hurt me in his wake.

What so now he didn't want to hang out with us anymore? I thought as I drove home from school. At lunch Embry had eaten with two other massively huge boys named Paul and Jared. Both of them were in Sam Uley's, cult, as Jacob would say. It was weird the way Embry acted, almost as if he couldn't tell us what was happening. And His apperance had changed durasticly. Just like Paul and Jared's had a couple months ago when they had gotten sick.

I couldn't help but feel like they were all hiding some big secret.

Sighing I pulled into the empty driveway of my home. All the lights were off, as I knew they would be. Usually my father stayed at the hospital until late at night, so I would cook dinner and put it in the fridge for him to find later.

Tonight I decided on lasagna and when I put it in the oven I sat down at our worn kitchen table to do my homework.

When I had finished that I wondered into the living room and plopped down on one of our old plaid couches. Flipping on the T.V. I decided on _Project Runway_ and soon fell asleep watching it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Heyy Guys(: Sorry I'm so late updating. My computer was all messed up. Thanks for the encouraging reviewws(: Disclaier: I don't own twilight. Kay hope you like the next chapter. **

The sun shone through the window of the living room and I slowly picked myself up off of the couch. Looking down I realized my dad had thrown a blanket over me and smiled.

I glanced at the clock that read 9:30 Mmmm Saturday morning, no school, no worries. I stumbled into the kitchen and popped two pieces of toast into the toaster. I leaned over the sink and stared absently out of the window that revealed to me the vast woods in our backyard.

I was so lost in thought that I jumped 8 feet in the air when the toast finally popped up.

Giggling at my own stupidity I spread some jam over the slices and sat down at the kitchen table. My mind wandered to Embry. What did he mean yesterday when he said "you'll see soon enough"?

This was so stupid! We were all supposed to be best friends. And he thinks he can just ditch us without giving a proper explanation?

Angrily I shoved my plate away and stomped up the stairs to my room. My dad was already gone. He liked to work all days of the week. When I asked him about it he had said it just kept his mind off of things.

Your probably thinking my dad is a real horrible guy to be leaving his daughter home alone all the time, but that's not really the case. I guess I understand why he does it. I look a lot like my mother and seeing me brings back tough memories for him.

Sighing I trudged into my room and threw open my closet. Searching I picked out a pair of light wash skinny jeans and a blood red sweater. The sweater was adorned with big brass buttons. I liked it 'cause it made it look kinda vintagy (is that a word?)

I pulled on a pair of black flats and walked into the bathroom. Looking at myself in the mirror I put on a little mascara and eyeliner. Glancing at my hair I braided it into one long braid that hung down my back.

Finally satisfied with my image I trotted down the stairs and grabbed my keys.

I drove to the grocery store and picked up some milk, eggs, and chocolate chip ice cream.

Placing them in the trunk of my car I hopped in the front seat and started up the engine. Frowning realized I didn't really want to return the empty house. So I drove down to first beach.

When I got there I took off my flats and rolled up my pant legs. Leaving my shoes in the front seat I walked down to the sandy shore.

Sighing softly I stared down at my toes as I walked. After a while I noticed that even if I hadn't gone back to my empty house I was still alone. Pulling out my cell phone from my pocket I shot Jacob a text message asking him what was up.

After twenty minutes of walking across the sand Jake still hadn't texted back. This angered me, he always had his phone.

Then I heard voices, they were soft at first but were getting loader as I walked. Looking up I saw two people sitting on a worn tree next to the seashore, one a girl, one a guy.

I recognized the guy at once. There sitting in front of me was Jacob Black I smiled and was about to run to him when my attention was drawn to the person sitting next to him.

It was a girl. A beautiful girl who looked hauntingly sad. She was speaking in a soft voice that I immediately recognized. Bella Swan was there. On our rez. With the boy I had fallen in love with.

Anger built up in me, but I quickly pushed it down. It wasn't like Jake was my property, and she looked so sad.

Quickly I hid behind a bush and parted the leaves so I could see. Of course it was wrong for me to be spying, but honestly what would you have done?

Yeah that's what I thought.

So I squatted behind that bush and listened to them speak, and because of my little eavesdropping episode I learned quite a few things.

First of all, bella's boyfriend broke up with her.

No freaking way.

I thought that he was supposed to be her beloved soul mate. The one person she wouldn't leave for Jacob, In all his gorgeousness.

Of course this meant she was now single. My heart wrenched a little bit knowing this. Deciding I had heard enough I stood up, brushed myself off, and walked silently back to the car.

The rest of the weekend was boring and miserable. I spent the whole time at home and neither Quil nor Jacob would call or text me back.


	4. Chapter 4

**OHH Goshh guyss(: thanks for all the great reviewws(: They make me soo happy! And yes I am going to try to make the chapters longer. **

**Oh yeah,, and I don't own twilight):**

**Aww well heres the next one! **

Come Monday morning I was exhausted. It was currently 5:30 in the morning and all I wanted to do was return to my warm welcoming sheets, but nooo I had to go to dumb school and learn things I would probably forget by this afternoon.

Sighing I dragged myself off my bed and stumbled over to my closet. I pulled out a pale yellow *Juicy tracksuit and walked half blind to my bathroom.

Upon arriving I avoided looking in the mirror instead I pealed off my navy blue plaid pajama pants and grey Harvard t shirt. When I finally did peer at my reflection from the corner of my eye I made a noise of disgust and went to turn on the shower.

After my steaming shower I blow dried my hair and pulled it into a sleek ponytail that fell like a glossy waterfall down the center of my back. I turned to put on my undergarments and clothes then finally looked at myself full on in the mirror.

My eyes had dark bags under them and were blood shot from lack of sleep. My face was extra pale this morning.

This weekend had been exhausting. I had taken too cleaning the whole house to get my mind off of my ex friend Embry and Jakes little crush on the now single Bella Swan.

My life sucked.

What kind of 17 year old has nothing to do but stay in her house and clean all damned weekend?

Frowning at my own loserness I applied some eyeliner and shadow to my lids and bushed on some mascara. I took out the hardly used foundation cream and squirted some on the tip of my finger. Rubbing it gently under my eyes to try to make the ugly bruise like circles less noticeable.

Finally satisfied I went back into my messy room (what teenage room isn't messy?) and pulled on a pair of white socks I then stuffed my feet into my black and white pumas. I turned to examine myself in the floor length mirror that was on the back of my door.

I looked like a sporty chic today.

Deciding my appearance wasn't going to miraculously get better then it was now I picked up my messenger bag and walked down the stairs. I picked out a special K bar from the pantry and munched on it as I grabbed my keys off the counter. Seeing my fathers note on the table I just picked it up and threw it away.

I already knew what it was going to say.

I slammed shut the front door behind me and then turned to lock it. Looking out over my front lawn I noted that it was only barely drizzling but the sky was still an ugly grey.

I walked slowly out to my car and once in I turned up the heat. I kept the radio off even though I loved music I just wasn't in the mood.

Today was just going to suck.

When I finally pulled into the parking lot of La Push High Most of the spots were full. So I pulled into one of the ones in the back near the forest, which lined three sides of the school.

Unwillingly I stumbled out of my heated car and into the rising chill of Autumn. (I don't know what time of year New Moon took place so I'm just changing it, if you know go head and tell me and ill fix it back )

I heard the warning bell ring just as I stepped into the old school. I gave a little startled noise as students all around me turned to run to their first classes. I myself began to run to my locker shoving all my crap in I glanced up at the clock. I had exactly a minute and thirty seconds to get to class.

Turning I ran down the hall and took a sharp right and…

Slammed right into a huge mass of human flesh. (wow that sounds kinda gross huh? )

This of course sent the books in my hands flying and all the papers in my folder fluttering around the hall. Looking up I concluded that the person I had knocked into was named Jared Hawkins (last name?) and that he too was part of Sam Uley's little group of massive men.

The bell rang.

I cussed and whirled around to try and pick up my books and papers as fast as I could. I was vaguely aware that the Jared kid was also picking some up muttering an apology.

When I finally rounded up all my stuff and he handed back the things he had picked up I looked up and gave poor Jared a forgiving smile and walked in the opposite direction to get to my first class. Of course I was late but Mrs. Baker would understand right?

Wrong.

Great I got lunch detention with the most horrible English teacher in the whole school, and to top it off Jacob wasn't here today.

I sat in the back of the class silently shooting myself over and over again with an invisible gun until the bell finally rang signaling the end of class. Relieved I dashed out of the classroom and back to my locker.

I saw Quil in second period. He apologized for not calling me back. He said he had to go to his Grandparents house all weekend. I told him it was fine and then he told me about how his grandpa should be put into rehab for his all the alchol he consumes.

Did I mention that Quil is one of my best friends?

But even with Quil's impossibly funny tales of his grandfathers drunken rants I was still in a gloomy mood. And as I sat in Mrs. Bakers English room all alone with my lunch spread out in front of me completing a worksheet about grammar mistakes, all I could think about was Sam and his dumb cult.

It all started with Paul Jacobson (last name?) going M.I.A for a couple weeks and then he suddenly turns back up at school looking like a freaking body builder. There was talk of him joining Sam Uley's gang, but I never believed it.

Then Jared Hawkins disappearing for weeks and suddenly he too turned up packing 80 more pounds of muscle and another rumor of him joining Sam Uley's cult. Next thing you know he is dating a girl named Kim who's shy and sweet and had a crush on Jared sense the 2nd grade.

Next was Embry who suffered from the "flu" for two weeks and comes back to school looking like a replica of Sam's wannabe followers Jared and Paul. He also didn't deny that he was with Sam's pack now. What the heck was going on?

Was I seeing a pattern? Was there some disease going around that had teenage boys turning into freaking bodybuilders? And why the heck did it all keep coming back to Sam Uley?

_You're being dumb._ A voice in the back of my head whispered.

_That isn't logical. It's just a coincidence. _It whispered again.

Sighing I turned in the dumb worksheet into Mrs. Baker and walked out of her classroom when the bell rang.

Finally as the day came to a close I walked slowly through the mass of chattering students. Quil had to leave school in the middle of my last period. He told me it was for a dentist appointment. Still though, that left me with my own confusing thoughts.

"Oh sorry." I mumbled as I accidently walked into a girl wearing an ugly green shirt. When I got to my car I slid into the front seat absentmindedly I began to drive home.

**OKAAY(: hopefully that was bit longer than my last chapters. So Amber is started to realize that something's going on! WOOT yeah Amber(; **

**Well I hope ya'll liked it. Hopefully I will be updating soon. Please send in more encouraging reviews! **** I lovveee them! 3 **

**Also no flames please, if you don't have something nice to say don't say it! (that's what my momma always told me **** ) Heehee **

**Kayy until next time my friendss(; **

**3 brokendreamer**


	5. Chapter 5

**I'M SO SORRY! Okay, I know you probably all hate me and I apologize a million times overrrr! I just switched schools and it's been really hard for me to catch up so I've been sorta neglecting my responsibilities here. Even then that's not an excuse(: Thank you for the reviews! I'll make it up to you! (: **

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight **

It's been a week and a half, and my Jacob still hadn't turned up at school. I continuously called his cell and his house phone, but it always seems to go to voice mail. I'm starting to get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Schools been pretty harsh, it's now the beginning of December and the teachers have been freaking over midterms. As if I or any other student actually cared about those stupid exams.

I've been spending my lonely days with Quil. He's been keeping me sane while our two other best friends have disappeared. Well, I guess Embry didn't disappear he sort of just, left.

Ya, that's what he did, he left us.

It hurt that Embry would be so cold like this, we had all been best friends since our diaper days. What the hell was going on?

"Miss Davis, will you demonstrate question 42 on your review packet up on the board?"

My head snapped up at the intruding voice of Mr. Bunkas my maths teacher.

"Oh of course" I answered distantly, I felt Quil's concerned eyes on me as I stood and made my way to the front of the class.

Quil knew how hard I was taking this, Jake and Embry were both our best friends but I was always more sensitive then any of them.

Maybe it was the estrogen.

The bell rang signaling the end of 4th period. Quil and I made our way out the doors and he waited for me at my locker as I stuffed my binders in my bag.

"So tomorrow I'll meet you at the coffee shop down the street to study history, right?" I asked

Quil and I always did this whenever exams came around, since we were the only two in our motely crew who even remotely cared about grades. Most of the time we'd drag Jake and Embry along, but they seemed to be out of the question at this moment, so I guess it's just us.

"Oh!" Quil said, "I forgot Amber, I'm so sorry, I promised to help my dad, he's helping my grandparents move down to Colorado, we're driving the whole way." He said regretfully, looking at me with pleading eyes.

"Ah it's ok Quilly" I said fondly "We'll do it next weekend?"

He nodded vigorously and I smiled at his childishness.

Quil walked me out into the drizzle all the way to my car before giving me a hug in goodbye.

I watched him walked off with a sad sense of loneliness.

I'd be home alone all weekend again.

The loud sounds of laughing teenagers, giggling girls, feet slushing through snow, and cars rolling over the slick pavement proved to me that there were thousands of my fellow students around me.

So why did I suddenly feel so alone?

My heart wrenched slightly as I looked forlornly across the parking lot and caught sight of Embry. He was being flanked by stupid Paul and Jared. As I watched though, I noticed how exhausted they all looked, with dark circles under their eyes. Pity overwhelmed my senses and even though Embry left I wanted to run over and hug him, he looked almost as lost as I felt.

Tearing my eyes away I wrenched open my car door and shoved my stuff inside before getting in myself. I cranked up the heat and pulled out of the all too small parking lot and onto the main road.

As I headed home I realized that this was too much, Where was Jacob? And what happened to Embry?

So many questions filled my head and I wanted some answers. So I did what any girl would do, I pulled a U turn across 4 lanes of oncoming traffic and drove the opposite way of my house, I drove to the love of my life's humble abode.

I drove to Jacob Blacks.

**Okay, hoped you liked it, the chapters will get longer. And again, I'm so sorry about not updating sooner(: Love you all! And Don't worry I should be updating later today. Oh and I changed my name, I didn't like the other one. Anyways don't forget to review! (: **


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello everyone(: Thanks for the reviews, please keep them encouraging (: thank you so much! I realize that all the facts in my story might not be totally realistic with the story but I'm doing my best so bare with me(: **

**I don't own twilight. ;D **

My car flew across the pavement and my hands became sweaty. Butterflies filled my stomach as I thought about the Jake I hadn't seen for a week and a half.

Did I mention I was in love with him?

Ah ya, I guess I did.

It all started when we were in kindergarten, I was swinging on the playground at recess when Paul Jacobson pushed me off roughly and took it for himself.

Angrily I jumped back up and shouted for him to get back off, but he simply laughed in my face before pushing me back over.

That's when he came, my hero.

"Leave her alone!" shouted a voice from behind me, I picked myself off the ground before turning to see who had stuck up for me. To my surprise it was little Jacob Black.

Paul simply told him to 'buzz off' but Jake had taken my hand and walked me over to the sand box, introducing me to his two friends Embry and Quil, and from that day forward we had all been inseparable.

I couldn't help but smile thinking about it.

My car rocketed down his street and I peeled into his driveway, jumping out of the car. But I stopped short as I stared up at their tiny house. For some odd reason it felt cold and unwelcoming, not like all the other times I had danced my way up to the door and barged in without even knocking.

But for some reason I couldn't move my feet now. I felt frozen and I watched as the curtains, which were drawn on every window twitched in the living room.

I heard feet trudging to the door and felt my heart speed up, forcing my feet to walk forward I got all the way to the first step at the door before it was wrenched open.

I looked up and a smile swept across my face to see the face of Jacob Black.

But then it disappeared, as I saw his hair, cropped short.

His muscles four times bigger, and he looked like he was 6'4 now.

An icy hand gripped my heart and I stared up at his angry face.

I heard him gasp, his eyes staring into mine with an expression I couldn't place. But then he seemed to grow mad, angrier then I had ever seen him and a shiver ran down my spine.

"What are you doing here?" he ground out still glowering at me from in the doorway, he didn't make a move to come forward so I walked up the rest of the steps and smiled uncertainly at him.

"I wanted to make sure you were feeling better" my voice was barely over a whisper and I felt myself shrinking back from his positively raging expression. Hearing quiet voices in the kitchen I picked out Sam Uley's.

"Oh no" My heart thudded in my chest and I stared at Jake my best friend and the boy I loved with an absolute desperate expression.

_Oh God, not him too, not my Jake. He couldn't leave me like Embry! He wouldn't do that! _

"Jake" my voice trembled "What is going on?"

As I watched him he slowly seemed to deflate back into the old Jake, just as I was about to run about and hug him, he said the words that froze me solid.

"We can't be friends anymore Amber."

My whole body seemed to go into shock, and I stared up at him confused.

"wh-what?"

"You heard me!" His voice was dark now and I was acutely aware of his hands beginning to shake at his sides.

"We can't be friends, I can't see you, I can't talk to you, I can't be around you at all!" he nearly shouted, and the volume of his voice made me stumble back down the steps.

The look in his dark eyes was positively frightening.

The thunder cracked over our heads and rain began to pour around me, I could barely see him it was so thick.

But I couldn't even feel it because my heart was breaking.

"Jake, we're best friends! What are you talking about? What's going on?" The questions poured out of my mouth my voice trembling.

He simply watched from his position in the doorway, an odd sort of look twisted in his eyes, before his face became like a rock again, cold and expressionless.

"Please!" I cried through the downpour, but he just shook his head.

"Go home Amber." His voice didn't sound harsh when he said it, just extremely tired. As if me being there caused him stress to the point of exhaustion.

"I don't want to deal with you anymore."

And as those words filled my ears that's when I felt myself fall to pieces.

He didn't want to deal with me? I was his best friend! I loved him, I'd die for him! I'd do anything. But as I stared up at him, I felt the fight leave me, and my body seemed to reel back as if he had hit me.

I'm sure if he had it would've been less painful.

And I turned and ran, ran through the rain towards my car. I couldn't get away fast enough, because I could already feel the tears pouring down my cheeks, mixing with the rain.

My heart throbbed and I tore out of his driveway, it felt as if I couldn't breath.

The drive passed in a blur and I suddenly found myself walking up my porch steps, unlocking my door I numbly stepped in. I walked up my stairs and changed out of my soaking wet clothes and stepped into the shower.

30 minutes later I found myself standing over my bed wearing pink fleece pajama bottoms and a black tshirt that had the letters 'bite me' scrawled across the front.

I picked up my phone and shot Quil a quick text.

_Jakes with Sam Quil,_

_he's gone too. _

Not a minute later my phone buzzed and I stared down at the bright screen clicking on Quils reply I read it with tears in my eyes.

_Fuck. I'll be back soon, It'll be ok, we'll be ok. _

I just nodded vaguely aware that he couldn't see me though the piece of metal I collapsed onto my bed.

And cried myself to sleep.

**Ah! Okay writing this made me so sad, yes Jake did imprint on Amber, there will be more talk about this next chapter when I do a third person point of view to get a little more of the packs views. **

**Thanks for all the reviews! Love you guys! (: **

**I should have a new chapter up soon (: **


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay heres the next chapter! Its in Jakes pov(: I won't be doing this often but I decided it was necessary hope you like it! **

**I don't own twilight**

Third person/Jake pov

Voices filled Jacob Blacks kitchen as Sam Uley tried to explain to a very distraught Jake what was going on and why he could no longer visit Quil and Amber, his two best friends.

Jacob's face was dark and worried, he looked exhausted and his eyes swept the kitchen where his father and Sam were sitting drinking coffee and watching him with careful expressions.

It was silent as Jake realized that this had happened to Embry too, his head felt heavy and his limbs ached. He just wanted to fall onto his bed and sleep for the next decade.

Sam had said that all the legends were true and he, Jacob Black, was a werewolf or shifter and his job was to protect La Push from the 'cold ones' or vampires.

And apparently he was supposed to be their 'Alpha'

He felt like he was going to hurl.

"There's one more thing." Sam murmured, his eyes boring into the back of Jakes head as he tried to make a getaway to his room.

"What?" Jacobs voice was harsh but he was so tired, he turned and waited for Sam with an impatient expression, what more could this guy want? He already told him about the pack and shifting, about how he had to watch his emotions and about how he would be basicly immortal until he stopped shifting and the rez was safe from vamps.

"Well there's this thing, called imprinting. And simply put, it's when the shifter finds their soul mate. You're heart pretty much belongs to them when it happens. You two were made for each other, you feel what she feels and you will protect her at any cost." His voice was soft as he explained it made me want to throw something at his head.

"Emily's mine, which brings another reason why you can't talk to your friends." His voice faltered and he stood up staring straight into my eyes from across the room.

"Emily's scars aren't from a bear attack Jacob, because I couldn't control myself and I was so new to shifting, I changed to close to her, and she wears those scars on her face as a permanent reminder of what I have done. I have to look at her every day and remember what I did to her, it's a miracle she forgave me."

He looked so tortured when he said it even Jake felt a little bad for the guy, and he frowned thinking of Bella.

Turns out she was dating a leech, the worst part?

She knew.

She knew she was dating a bloodsucker but she didn't care. Because she 'loved him'

Anger filled Jacob but he quickly calmed down before Sam or his dad could see. Maybe if he imprinted on her then she would realize that she really should be with him and not be still all hung up on stupid Edward Cullen.

_But what if you imprint on someone else? _

A voice whispered in his head

Not gonna happen, he hissed back. He loved Bella, and he refused to love anyone else. Even if his weird wolf genes decided too. He would fight it for all he was worth because he knew he only loved her.

The unmistakable sound of a car engine pulling into his gravel driveway pulled him out of his thoughts and is head snapped up. Along with Sam and his dads, even though Black senior was a little late because he didn't have the wolf ears.

"Who is that Jake?" asked Billy Black slight worry in his voice.

Jacob walked through to the living room and twitched back the curtains, frowning he saw the black Honda Accord that he knew to be his best friend Ambers.

"Amber." He said softly, Billy gasped in the other room. Jake knew Billy loved Amber and her quirky ways. She was the last person he wanted to hurt.

A weird pain shot through him, Amber had stuck by him through every single obstacle in the past, when Embry left she was so sad, he knew what he had to do would break her heart more. And eventually Quil would shift too, he knew she would be all alone. Maybe he could get Sam too let him tell her, he knew she would never tell anyone else. But remembering the scars on Emily's face he knew he cared too much about her to ever hurt her.

"You know what you have to do Jacob." Said Sam from the kitchen, and Jake wanted to punch him but he simply turned and trudged to the door.

Wrenching it back he stared down at the girl in front of him, she looked tired her long chocolate curls were bouncing around her face as she carefully picked her way across the path to his house, her foot was on the first step as she looked up and met his eyes.

In that instant Jacob Black felt as if all the weight was lifted off his shoulders, the whole world went dark, and all he could see was her. If his house had exploded right then he wouldn't of cared or even noticed for that matter because this beautiful tiny girl was standing right in front of him.

And then he gasped, realizing what had just happened.

He had imprinted, on his best friend.

No.

No.

No.

He loved Bella! Not her! But now even as he thought about Bella her beautiful face could barely compare to the one standing in front of him.

Anger overcame him as he glared down at her.

No, he refused to love anyone else, he only loved Bella, he would only ever love Bella Swan.

Quil had once told him that he thought Amber had more then friendly feelings toward him, but he had never believed him.

It doesn't matter he thought rigidly, I will to succumb to the imprint!

-Jake and Amber fight time sequence-

Jake slammed the door after Amber had run off. He was breathing hard, his heart hurt as soon as she was out of his sight, and he couldn't help but remember the haunted look in her eyes.

He felt horrible.

Making his way back to the kitchen Sam and Billy had fallen silent as the fight had taken place and they both stared at him as he walked to the sink and splashed cold water on his face to try and get her face out of his mind.

Bella

Bella

Bella

He whispered to himself over and over to try and block her out. It seemed to be working, he could no longer see her wide sad blue eyes. Now his minds eye was staring at Isabella's pretty face. He felt himself slowly calming down and returning to normal.

"You imprinted, did you not?" came Sam's wise voice.

Jake didn't say anything, he just turned and made to leave the kitchen.

But Sam stopped him with a gentle hand on his shoulder

"This means you can tell her Jake, you can't fight this, it'll just keep hurting you both."

I saw her teary blue eyes in my head and I shook him off.

"No" I hissed "I wont imprint, I refuse to love anyone but Bella." My voice sounded like a defiant child but I didn't care, I would not let myself fall into this, I loved

Bella not Amber, I wouldn't let some supernatural thing force me to not follow my true feelings.

My true feelings were for Bella.

"You can't fight it Jake!" shouted Sam as I stomped up my stairs. "The imprint shows us our true soul mate!"

I simply glared, I love Amber, but I wanted Bella.

"I'm not going to let this thing control me." I growled

**That was painful. I feel so bad for Amber! UGH! But don't worry, Jake will eventually come to his senses (: Okay thanks for the read, dot forget to review! Love you all(: **


	8. Chapter 8

**Ah (: thank you for the reviews(: I know sometimes my spelling is off hehe, but bare with me! Okay next chapter, we're back to Amber now(:**

**I don't own twilight(:**

My phone rang, waking me up from my dreamless sleep. It had been a week since Jake had blown up at me. I could still see his dark eyes glaring at me with such hate.

Shivering I jumped up from my bed and rain to my desk, picking up the cell phone I answered it quickly smiling at the voice I heard on the other line.

"Morning Amber" Quil said in a mock cheery voice. We had both been pretty shaken up by our two best friends leaving us in the dust. And I knew that it was just as hard as it was on him as it was on me.

"Morning Quilly" I yawned, then smiled slightly, Quil was doing a good job holding me down. It had been a week since the Jacob escapade and I broke down and told Quil that I loved Jake.

So far he's been doing a good job holding me together.

"So I'll see you in ten? The usual place?" Quil asked and I nodded before realizing he couldn't see me.

"Right, I'll be there" I answered and I heard him let out a breath before hanging up.

I smiled sadly, at least I still had Quil. But I didn't even know how long that would last.

It seemed the body builder La Push epidemic was breaking out. Jake had come back to school, he was hanging with Embry, Paul, and Jared now too. I felt as if it was only a matter of time before they took Quil away from me also. My stomach lurched at the thought. Sometimes I would feel them looking at us as we walked together through the hallways and I knew Quil was worried too.

Slowly I wandered around my room aimlessly picking up articles of clothing and putting them on. Eventually I stepped into the bathroom to brush my teeth and hair, I had taken a shower last night so I didn't worry about taking one now.

I braided my chocolate curls into one braid down my back and looking in the mirror I realized I was wearing a pair of dark wash skinny jeans with a brown belt and a purple off the shoulder sweater. Sliding my mom's charm bracelet onto my wrist it gave me an odd sense of comfort as it fell into the place it always sat on my arm. Giving me a feeling of normalcy when everything was so strange.

Pulling on my socks I laced up my black converse and grabbed my keys off the hook, even though it was still December I didn't bother grabbing a jacket and just rushed out to my car.

I pulled up to the coffee shop, I could see Quil sitting at the table in the corner, the one we used to _all _always sit at. (jake, quil, embry, and her) My heart wrenched and I forced myself out of the car.

The shop called _La Push finest _was warm and inviting, the bell dinged on the door as I stepped in and I smiled seeing Quil had already ordered me a hot chocolate with peppermint.

I plopped myself heavily down in the seat across from Quil and he looked up, exhaustion written all over his face.

"Oh god Quil" I hissed "Have you been sleeping at all? You look awful!" I said shocked at the dark circles under his eyes.

He rubbed his forehead and sarcasticly muttered "thanks ams"

Reaching over I placed my hand on his, causing him to look up, and right then I saw the fear clear as day in his eyes.

"They're hiding something Amber" He said softly "Whatever's going on with them I can't help but think I'm next." He sounded scared and vulnerable. It made me want to leap across the table and hug him.

Sighing I ran a hand over my tired eyes and smiled weakly at him.

"Quil I know we'll be ok, you'll be ok." I said softly "Things always have a way of working out don't they?" I muttered

He snorted making me sharply look up from my steaming hot chocolate.

"I won't become one of them" he hissed fiercely "I promise I won't leave you like they did Amber, best friends forever, right?" He said firmly meeting my eyes. I couldn't help but smile and nod "Best friends Quil, best friends."

We spent an hour or so talking in the coffee shop before Quil had to go, I found myself at the cliffs staring down at the crashing waves. The wind whistled past me throwing my hair out of its braid so that the curls whipped around my face.

My feet took themselves to the very edge of the cliff and I stared down wondering what it would feel like to hurtle out over the rocks and free fall into nothing at all.

Shaking myself out of the weird zoned out trance I was in I turned and walked back to where I parked my car.

I found I had absolutely nothing to do these days so I wandered absently around my house cooking meals for my dad and watching old hallmark movies.

At 6:30 the phone rang shrilly through the house and I jerked awake. Looking around I found myself on the ground with a popcorn bowl lying upturned, the kernels spread over the carpet. Groaning I stood up and trotted into the kitchen to pick up the phone off the hook.

"Hello?" I said softly staring out the window behind the sink and watching the orange and pink sunset disappear behind the mountains.

"Hey Amber" Came a gruff voice from the other end. I was shocked when I heard it.

"Daddy!" I smiled, "What's up?"

"Nothing kiddo" he chuckled, but I could hear the strain in his voice, he worked so much at the hospital I often worried about _his_ health. "I just wanted to tell you I'm taking an all nighter at the hospital tonight, so don't wait up on me."

My face fell and I bit my lip "Ya dad ok" I'm murmured softly "Love you"

I heard my dad cough before saying he loved me to then hanging up. Frowning at the phone I slammed it back onto the hook and stomped up to my room, I'd pick up the mess in the living room later I didn't want to deal with it now.

As soon as I was changed into my pajamas I fell onto my bed and pulled the covers over my head, wishing I could block out the world. Sighing I realized that was impossible and reached over to turn off my lamp.

The room grew silent but I still couldn't sleep, instead tears rolled down my cheeks even as I wiped them away angrily. I couldn't help but wonder if Quil was right.

Would he be the next one to leave me?

Would I always be alone?

**Okay, well that's the end of that. I'll be adding more bella into the next chapters, It's going to get alittle sad but I promise there will be a happy ending! (: **

**So tell me whatcha think? Please don't be harsh only encouraging reviews please(: Okay thanks guys! I'll be updating soon :D **


	9. Chapter 9

**AWH YA. I've updated like 5 since I left you all for almost a year(: am I starting to make it up to you now? Thanks for the reviews! And please keep them coming! :D **

**I don't own twilight ladies and gents **

**Kay here we goooooooooooo .. **

It's been 3 months. Three whole fucking months. It's March now, and the weather is finally starting to warm up, but not much.

Quil is still with me, but I haven't had any contact with Embry or Jake since December. Once I tried to speak with them in the halls at school, but they both immediately turned and left, leaving me in tears.

Quil's been distancing himself lately too. I know he's worried, but so am I. Sometimes I see him walking along the roads all alone, his face scrunched up in concentration. I felt terrible.

Right now, I'm standing at the cliff again. I keep finding myself back here. Staring out over the wild water, wishing I could jump to see what it felt like to have the wind rush up at my face and just let go.

But I never did.

Sighing I turned and looked down over first beach, my eyes falling on the old washed up tree by the shore.

Two people were sitting on it.

One boy.

One girl.

My breath caught in my throat as I saw her brown hair flow back as the breeze brushed her face and I knew who it was.

"Bella Swan" I whispered

Turning my eyes to the boy next to her I would recognize him anywhere.

"Jacob?" It came out as sort of a question and I felt tears form in my eyes.

So she could talk to him but I couldn't? She could know his secrets but I wasn't good enough anymore? My heart if possible was breaking more and I let out a sob. Turning I ran from my spot on the cliff and I didn't stop until I got to my car.

I found myself in Quil's driveway and I slammed the car door on the way out. Running up the stone path I knocked on the door. I could hear voices inside but no one was coming to open the door. Angrily I knocked harder and shouted Quil's name. Suddenly the door was wrenched open and I was staring into the kind face of Mrs. Atreara.

"Oh hello dear." She said smiling at me, but I could see the worry lines in her face and eyes.

"I'm afraid Quil isn't well at the moment, you'll have to call at another time" She said attempting to close the door, but not before I saw Sam Uley sitting in the kitchen, a cup of tea in his over sized hand.

"No" I whispered and Mrs. Ateara stopped looking up at me.

"What was that honey?" She said watching me with surprise.

"You promised Quil!" I shouted "You promise not to leave me like they did!" My voice echoed through the house and somehow I knew he could hear.

My heart wrenched and tears slide down my cheeks. Before anyone could say anything I ran back to my car and pulled away. I was sobbing so hard by the time I got home it's a miracle I didn't get into a wreck.

I fell to my knees as soon as I closed the door and cried. Pressing my hands to my face I willed the pain to go away but it felt like someone had taken a knife and shoved it down my throat before twisting it around in my stomach.

I was all alone now.

Everyone had left.

Jacob had Bella, he didn't even miss me.

Just as I suspected days passed and Quil hadn't come back to school, when he did eventually show up he was with Sam's cult and he too had grown twice the size. He wouldn't even look at me, none of them would.

I began skipping lunches so I wouldn't have to see them, I got all the teachers to move me across the room from any of them so I wouldn't be near them. I barely slept and the purple bruise like circles accompanied with bloodshot eyes seemed to be a permanent look on my face now. I was growing skinnier as the weeks passed I barely had an appetite.

Some of my teachers noticed and asked me if I was alright, I merely nodded and left. I was growing numb to everything. I could no longer feel the breeze on my face I couldn't taste the food in my mouth and the pain aching in my heart seemed to be a distant pulse as I fell away form living and just began existing.

I walked through the halls with my head down and I cried myself to sleep now. My dad was always at the hospital and my mom was dead, the house was empty and I had absolutely no one.

I was completely and utterly alone.

**)": Ah! That was sad. Don't worry I will elaborate on the sadness again next chapter :P It's gunna be a tear jerker! Please review and tell me what you think! Thanks for the read! **

**3 **


	10. Chapter 10

**HIYA :D **

**Thanks for the reviews! I don't own twilight!**

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Slapping my hand on my alarm clock I sat up and rubbed my eyes. It was Thursday April 27th the air seemed to warm but La Push was still as rainy and stormy as ever.

Standing up I walked into the bathroom and slipped into the shower. 15 minutes later I emerged draped in a towel and I began fishing through my closet for clothes. Taking out a grey dress with the black pattern of cheetah print across I pulled it on and cinched it with a thick black belt.

Walking back into the bathroom I stared at my reflection. My eyes were blood shot from crying myself to sleep last night and the ever constant circles were under my eyes. My skin was pale and my cheeks seemed to hollow in. I looked like a ghost. Grimacing I tried to apply makeup to make my depression less noticeable but it never worked. Pulling a brush through my hair I simply let the curls fall around my face, and I brushed my teeth.

They left me.

I walked down the stairs and pulled on some black flats. I didn't bother to eat breakfast, I was never hungry anymore. Grabbing my messenger bag and keys I stopped just outside the door and stared through the rain. Contemplating getting a jacket I decided against it, I barely felt the icy droplets these days anyways.

I was alone.

The drive to school was silent. I kept the radio off and I stared out the windows.

When I did get to school everyone just avoided me. As if they would catch whatever disease I seemed to have that caused me to have no one.

Absolutely no one.

First period was English and I stared blankly at the board until the bell rang. Then I went to biology and sat down at the seat in the back of the room. No one sat by me so I did all the labs by myself, going through the motions and staring out at the rain slipping down the window. I wondered vaguely if the sky felt my pain, It seemed to be crying a lot lately along with me.

When the bell finally rang I was one of the last kids to scurry out of the classroom. I walked slowly down the halls as most of my fellow students chattered noisily while racing to the lunch room. But instead of going there I walked towards my car. I sat in the front seat munching on a special K granola bar and staring out into the rain. I managed to hold all the sorrow in while at school. But at home I began to get restless. I couldn't live like this forever. It wasn't healthy.

But yet I couldn't find it in myself to care.

When lunch was over I somehow made it through my last two classes then left the school. Teens pushed and shoved me trying to get out first and I let them. I didn't think I even had any strength to push back. I was almost to the doors when suddenly a very hot hand grabbed me from behind and pushed me into an empty classroom.

I gasp in shock my eyes wide as I whirled to see Jacob Black staring down at me. He looked gorgeous as always. His jet black hair hung around his face, it was starting to grow out, his eyes were such a beautiful dark chocolate. And his skin was almost scorching hot but in a warm comforting way. Huge muscles stretched across his glowing olive skin and he folded his arms across his chest staring at me intently.

"Jacob?" My voice sounded distant and dead even to my own ears and I watched in shock as he winced back as if he was hurting.

"Amber, look, I- well you- I've noticed that you're not eating. And it looks like your not sleeping either." His voice was uncertain but disapproving and anger bubbled up in me.

"SO?" I snapped. Glaring at him, he should know that the reason I was like this was cause of him!

"Look, it isn't the end of the world. Please just take care of yourself?" His voice was pleading but I stared at him open mouthed.

"What!" I shrieked "I don't understand Jacob!" "What the hell did I do wrong? Because obviously it's still okay for Bella to hang out with you but you lot don't want anything to do with me. I'm alone! Completely and utterly alone! My dads never around! He hates my guts cause my mom's dead and apparently I look just like her! He can't even stand to look at me! My own DAD!" I cried throwing my hands up in frustration.

"And my three best friends! The ones I'd die for have left, told me never to speak to them again. So now what? I just wander around feeling trapped inside my head while you prance off into the sunset with your Bella? AND YOU'RE TELLING ME IT ISNT THE END OF THE WORLD!" I roared

He looked shocked "Amb- "

But I didn't let him finish "I hate you Jacob Black" I spat and then hurled myself through the door.

I half expected him to come after me, but when he didn't it seemed to tear at me even more. I couldn't stand this, I wanted to get out, I need release.

I ran all the way to my car, the tears fell like crystals shimmering down my face, vaguely I was aware of Embry and Quil waiting by jake's Rabbit, and I saw them watching me but I didn't even turn. I jumped in my car and drove home.

Throwing open the door to my house I slammed it shut and ran to the kitchen. I searched the drawers for the thing I was searching for. And then I found it.

I picked up the knife from the drawer and stared at its razor sharp edges.

A sick sort of smile twisted its way up to my face.

I had found my release.

Slowly I turned my arm over and stared at the pale flesh before dragging the blade up the inside of my arm. I watched mesmorized as the blood dripped out the thin cut, rolling down my arm and falling on the kitchen tiles. I didn't feel the pain. Anger fused in my like a fire. And I took the blade and slid it deep along my left palm. This time I felt it, the stinging pain.

And I smiled.

Washing off the blood I knew that they would scar, so if anyone asked I'd say it was a tree branch in the woods.

I quickly bandaged them and after washing the blood off the knife I brought it with my upstairs before shoving it into my bathroom drawer for later use.

Apart of me knew this was wrong, but I felt like I almost needed it. I needed the pain to remember that I was actually alive instead just a ghost.

That night I stepped out of the house and wandered aimlessly around the neighborhood before the cool night air finally caught up with me and I walked back home.

I changed into my pajamas and sat on the edge of my bed staring out my window that faced the woods in our backyard. As I watched I saw what I thought was a massive bear slipping in and out of the trees. As I watched the animal seemed to turn its head and I had the distinct feeling it was looking at me. For some reason this gave me comfort and I finally lay down to close my eyes and hopefully sleep.

But as soon as my eyes closed I fought off the thoughts in my head as an evil voice whispered,

_They don't want you Amber, No one does. No one loves you. They can't even stand to look at you, or even talk to you. _

I pressed my palms to my head and sobbed quietly to myself until I fell asleep.

**Holy crap, well that was kinda depressing. That's my last one for today(: I'll try to do more tomorrow. Tell me whatcha think! **

**Thanks for the read(: **

**Love always! **


	11. Chapter 11

**Okayy I'm back :D Thank you for the reviews!**

**I don't own Twilight! (: **

_I was falling. I could feel the air rushing past my face and whistling through my hair. _

_And then my body smashed into the water. I gasped choking for air before I was thrown under the raging waves again. _

_And then the current pulled me down, away from safety. And I found myself staring up through the murky water at the light that filtered in. I floated down, but I made no fight to get back up to where I was safe. _

_My lungs screamed for air, but all my energy was gone. _

_I waited for someone to save me like they do in the movies, but as my time ticked away I realized no one would come. _

_I was going to die. _

I jerked awake from my nightmare drenched in sweat. Gasping I placed a hand to my frantic heart and wiped the tears from my eyes. What a terrible nightmare. Turning I looked at my clock to find it was 5:00. Well I guess I should just get ready for school.

Stepping into the shower I massaged my strawberry shampoo into my head trying to rub away my headache.

It didn't seem to be working.

I pulled out a pair of light skinny jeans with rips up the thighs and I threw a yellow Tshirt over my head that said "Chill bro," across the front in black scrawl. I smiled slightly at the memory of when I bought the shirt.

I was with them.

My heart wrenched and I shook my head, trying to dispel the memory. Walking into the bathroom I ran a brush through my hair and applied some make up to my worn out face. I sprayed my vanilla perfume on my neck then walked to my closet and slipped my feet into a pair of black flip flops.

Jogging down the stairs I grabbed a pop tart from the pantry and began nibbling on it as I flipped on the news.

The talk around town was that Bella and Edward were now back together.

So apparently he had come back for her?

How disgustingly romantic.

But even though I hated him I still felt a slight spurge of pity for Jacob Black. It sucks when the person you love doesn't love you back.

Trust me, I knew.

I threw the rest of my pop tart away and turned down the hall, grabbing my messenger bag and keys off the hook as I went. But I stopped short as I saw that the coat closet door had been left open, my dad had probably been in a rush this morning and forgot.

I slapped the wood with my hand, thinking it would slam shut, but to my shock it didn't budge.

I glared at the offending wood and pushed it again, trying to close it.

It took me a moment to realize there was something preventing it from shutting.

Opening the door wider I peered into the dark small space. I never went in here, nor did my dad most times. We had shoved old boxes filled with my mom's stuff towards the back and it hurt too much to open it, we had always just left it close.

Which made me wonder, why was it opened?

Looking down I saw an old worn green leather book lying on the floorboards. Frowning I lifted it up, and blew the dust off its cover.

Flipping it open the yellowed pages revealed a writing I didn't recognize until I looked to the bottom of each page.

_Elizabeth Ann Davis _

So this was my mother's journal?

Woah, cool.

I flipped to the middle and began reading a passage,

_My darling Amber is growing up so fast, Brian _(Ambers dad_) and I are so proud of her. She turned seven today and we celebrated with a cake with pink flowers. I'm so afraid I will have to leave her soon, the doctors say that the cancer has come back. I don't know how long I can fight it off. _

_Brian has finally been able to stop shifting, I'm so proud of him. I know it takes so much hard work, but he said it was to make sure that he could take care of Amber if anything happened to me. I've already told Amber about the legends. I wish I could tell her they were real, and that her father is one of the great warriors of the Quileute tribe. But then I hope she never has to find out. It would make her life so much harder then it has to be. _

_Brian has been withdrawing a lot lately, I know it's because my cancer has come back. I worry for him and Amber. He promises to take care of her, but because I'm his imprint I know it will be so hard for him, especially when she looks so much like me. _

_I can only hope and pray for the best. _

_Until next time, _

_Elizabeth Anne Davis _

The book slipped out of my hands and distantly I heard it make a thud on the floor.

Was my mom fucking crazy? The legends weren't real, imprinting and werewolves do not exist, right?

Oh god, I'm losing it.

I looked back up at the clock, I had 15 minutes to get to school on time, but instead I whirled around and ran up the stairs to my dad's bedroom.

Throwing open the door I flew over to the bookshelf that was on moms side of the room and slid my finger across the titles until I found the one I wanted.

Pulling it out I flipped through the worn pages and re-read all of the legends I knew so well. My mom had said they were true in her journal, and that my dad, had been one of the warriors?

She had always talk about them like they were magical tales, adventures that had actually taken place instead of old myths.

Now I could tell why.

No way, I was really finally going insane.

But I suddenly had the sinking feeling that the 'bear' sightings that had been taking place a lot around La Push lately weren't bear sightings at all, they were wolfs.

Werewolves.

Oh hell no.

"Holy shit" I muttered, before turning and staring out the window of my parent's room.

The legends spoke about a pack of boys who shifting to animals to protect the tribe.

And hypothetically, if that were true, then would these boys suddenly grow two feet and sprout muscles three times the size of any normal teenage boy? And would their leader be the one and only Sam Uley?

I sat up, there is only one way to find out.

Running back down the stairs I grabbed my bag and keys, but this time when I got in the car I drove the opposite direction, I drove straight to Forks hospital.

As I pulled into the parking lot I felt my nerves bounce out of control and I hopped out locking the car behind me.

The automatic doors slid open and I walked to the front desk, the plump nurse had dark red hair twisted into a bun on her head, her glasses slid down the bridge of her nose and she pushed them back up impatiently. When she noticed my presence her head snapped up and she greeted me with a warm smile.

"What can I do for you dear?" She asked, her voice was sweet and warm, I smiled slightly as it filled my ears.

"Well my name is Amber Davis, and I was just wondering if my father is on duty, can I possibly speak to him?"

She eyed my for a moment before saying "Hold on sugar, let me check." I watched as she lifted the phone off its hook and dialed in a number before speaking to the person on the other line.

I rocked back on my heels and zoned out, staring at the wall behind the receptionist desk. Hearing the nurse put down the phone I snapped back to reality and looked back at her expectantly.

She smiled at me "He isn't on duty now sweet heart, you can head back. His office is the fourth door on the left." I nodded and thanked her before walking towards the door she had pointed at.

Slipping in I smelled something incredibly sweet, and my head shot up.

My dull blue eyes met two pairs of beautiful topaz, and I gasped slightly. A man a foot or so taller then me was standing in front of me, he had blonde hair and a flawless face.

So this must be the infamous Dr. Cullen. The man who had all the nurses swooning over him?

Nice.

"Uh, hi." I said simply, still shocked by how positively gorgeous he was.

"Hello" He said softly and I almost gaped at his musical voice. "I'm sure you're hear to change those bandages?" he said, gesturing towards my arm.

I looked down at my left hand, where I had wrapped thick white gauze down my forearm and over my palm. It ached still but I ha almost forgotten about them until he had brought it up.

"Uh, no a-actually," I stuttered "I'm here to see my dad, um my names Amber, Amber Davis. The nurse up front said his office is back here." I tried to smile at him, but it came out as sort of a grimace and I quickly looked down to my feet.

Dr. Cullen chuckled slightly "Oh, well it is a pleasure to meet you miss Davis" he said "But I must be going, I'd re wrap your arm too, old bandages can cause an infection."

I nodded numbly and he held his hand out for me to shake.

I took it, and almost immediately pulled back.

It was icy cold.

My eyes snapped up to his, and suddenly all the legends whirled in my head as I stared into his gold eyes.

Icy skin, flawless face, and golden eyes.

"Vampire" I whispered.

**WHOOP Cliffyy ;D no worries, I'll update later today, so you won't have to wait long(: **

**PLEASEPLEASE review and tell me whatcha thinkkkk! :D no flames please. **


	12. Chapter 12

**YaY :D she's figured it out, OKAY ONWARD! **

**Oh, and I don't own twilight ;D **

Dr. Cullen's eyes flew wide and I yanked my hand away before taking off down the hall.

The nurse had said the fourth door on the right, right? Or did she say left?

AWH SHIT.

I counted the doors until I got to four and then I just turned and threw it open not bothering to knock.

I slammed the door behind me before turning around to see I was indeed in an office, but it was void of person sitting behind the cluttered desk. My eyes roamed over the room and I decided that it was quite a good size, there was a fairly big window behind the desk which faced the door. A computer was at the left corner of the desk while on the right sat a phone that's green blinking light was starting to get on my nerves. The walls were a simple beige and the two chairs on the other side of the desk were a simple light green that matched the curtains on the window.

Taking a step forward I saw that there was a plaque with the words _Dr. Davis _printed in gold and I smiled slightly, Sitting myself down in the brown leather chair that my father sat in everyday I noticed there was a single picture frame next to his computer, I gently picked it up for closer inspection.

Tears filled my eyes as I saw that it was of my mom and me, we were in the garden. I was about four and my long curls cascaded down my back as I held a daisy up to the camera a crooked grin alight on my face. I was wearing a huge floppy hat, and behind me my mom was kneeling grinning at the camera, she too was wearing a floppy hat, but hers had matching gardening gloves.

I felt the tears cascade down my cheeks and I placed it back where it had stood proudly a moment ago.

Hearing footsteps I hastily wiped away my tears and sat up in my dad's seat, staring expectantly towards the door.

Just as I suspected a few moments later it was yanked open and my dad, looking tired was standing in the doorway, causing bright light to filter into the dark room. He flicked on the switch with a sigh and suddenly froze as he saw me.

"Hiya daddy, we kind of need to talk." I said simply.

"Amber? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at school?"

Sighing I nodded and stood up, making my way over to him I said "Dad, I found mom's journal."

His face visibly paled as he stared at me.

"And I need you to tell me, was mom crazy? Or am I? Because she wrote that all the legends are real, and that you, Mr. Davis, are not exactly human." My tone was soft as I stared into the hazel eyes of my father, searching them for the truth.

He sighed and sagged into one of the green chairs, his eyes staring unseeingly out of the window behind his desk.

"Daddy?" I asked uncertainly

"Oh Amber," he muttered "I guess you would've had to find out sooner or later, especially with those friends of yours."

"What?" I asked more confused then ever "What do they have to do with any of this? Dad What is going on! What was mom talking about? She was crazy wasn't she? I mean, there is no way that any of those creatures exist!" My voice was slightly desperate and I watched as he ran a hand through his graying hair before turning to me with a sad expression.

"You should sit do Amber, This'll take awhile."

So I sat down on the other green chair facing him and he began to tell me the story.

"All the legends are real Amber, There are people who protect the tribe by shifting into wolfs. They protect them from the cold ones, or as you would know them vampires. My father was one, it ran in his blood, so when I turned 16 I too shifted to protect my loved ones from those monsters." He was staring out the window as he spoke, his tone was distant as if he was remembering something that happened long ago.

I stared at him with my mouth gapping open, he wasn't really serious was he?

"I was 18 when I met your mother, There's this thing called imprinting, if you know the legends you'll understand what that means." He turned to me and I nodded so he turned back and continued staring out the window.

"We began dating, and two years later we got married. Then had you. One by one the pack found their imprints and got married, slowly they started to stop shifting which meant they could age again." I nodded making the connections in my head from the legends to what my dad was saying, but could he really be telling the truth?

"What about the Cullen's?" I asked

and his head snapped up, his eyes meeting mine, "How did you-" I shrugged and just stared at him, waiting for an answer to my question.

"The Cullen's are the vampire family from the third legend, they are the ones who made a treaty with us. I guess you could call them 'vegetarian' vampires, they're really quite nice, er at least Carlisle is."

I stared at him in shock, "You work with a vampire?" I hissed and my dad simply nodded looking over at me tiredly.

I sighed and stood up, taking his hand I smiled at him. "I miss you daddy" My voice was soft and tender, and he stared at me with watery eyes.

"I know babygirl, I'm sorry I've been work so much lately I just-"

"It's alright" I smiled and kissed his forehead "Just try to come home for dinners?"

"I'll try my best" He muttered and I just nodded before making my way to the door, but I paused with my hand on the knob.

"Oh, one more thing dad, what did you mean when you said 'those friends of yours' ?"

He looked at me solemnly then said "they too are all part of the blood line, which means they have or will shift to protect the tribe."

I stared at him wide eyed, and no matter how much I wanted to tell him he was crazy, I somehow believed him. It explained everything, why they had changed and why they looked so tired. If they were up all night chasing after vampires, anyone would be exhausted from that.

"But dad," I wondered aloud "If you were a wolf too, then wouldn't it be in my bloodline?" I asked him nervously.

He looked up and frowned before nodding, "possibly" he murmured before rubbing a hand across his eyes.

I gave him a reassuring smile "Thanks daddy" I said softly before skipping over to him and kissing his cheek. He smiled at me slightly "You should really try to get some sleep." I said simply before disappearing out the door.

I walked along the hall, and was relieved that I didn't bump into Dr. Cullen again. I burst through the door that led back to the waiting room and waved to the nurse at the front desk, she smiled and waved back before I slipped out of the front doors again.

My heart thudded hard in my chest as I started my car, I felt slightly giddy for the first time in months.

So they hadn't actually left me because they hated me, they did it because they had too.

And for the first time in a long time my real smile played on my lips and my eyes sparkled back to life.

**YAY(: Dark sadness is over or is it? **

**REVIEW! (: **

**Thanks for the reaadd :D **


	13. Chapter 13

**Okokok, I know you're all angry I apologize! I'm sorry! I've been on vacation and school started and it's been crazzyy, I'm sooso Sorry! **

**But heres the next chapter ;D I'll try to keep 'em coming as fast as I can(: **

**Thanks for all the awesome reviews, you guys are amazing! **

**Oh, and I know the timing on my story might not be exact with the real book but please just understand I'm doing my best! No flames please! **

**I don't own Twilight (: **

I sat silently on the couch in my home, staring at the blank tv screen. Just moments ago I had walked in the door from speaking to my father and apparently werewolves and vampires are real.

Damn.

It's just a lot for a girl to take in ya' know? Sheesh, I never thought this would happen to me. And now there was the possibility that I, myself, might turn into a furry canine too.

Oh hell.

A small smile played on my lips as I thought, Jake, Quil, and Embry were all shape shifters too. Which meant that maybe they had to leave me for more then just the simple reason that I wasn't good enough. My heart swelled at the thought.

Slowly I ran a hand through my mess of hair before turning to look at the clock, it was 12:30.

Maybe I'd been sitting here longer then I thought.

Slowly I moved to the kitchen and pulled an apple from the fridge before leaning against the sink and staring thoughtfully through the window and out into the woods.

So right now, there were supernatural beings roaming the earth that I had no idea existed before this morning? And I wasn't aloud to tell anyone?

_I wonder if there are any in that forest? _I thought curiously, but then I shook myself, the thought of cold blood thirsty vampires in my backyard sorta freaked me out a bit.

Backing away from the window I threw the apple core in the trash before walking back to the living room and plopping down on the couch. Flipping on the TV I scrolled through the many channels before settling on the movie _Beastly, _and promptly fell asleep.

When I awoke again I flipped open my cell phone to check the time. It was 5:00 and I had nothing to do.

Throwing on a coat I left a note for my dad on the slim chance that he'd show up at home tonight and slipped out of the house and into my car.

I thought about the boys, how would I break it to them that I knew they were werwolves? Could I just walk up and be like 'Oh hey you dickless bastards, I know how you can shift into a giant dog.'

Hell no.

But how the fuck was I supposed to do this? I mean I guess I could show up and tell them first about my dad, but this was just so freaking hard!

There was only one explanation to this.

God hates my guts.

And I was very possibly the most un-lucky girl in this universe.

I rolled my eyes and ran a hand through my hair before parking the car.

The sound of crashing waves brought me out of my thoughts and I looked up to see that I had somehow picked my way through the forest to the cliffs again. I stared down at the violent water pounding against the rock's, and found myself reminded of the nightmare I had had the other night.

Shuddering at the memory I wondered if it would it feel like that if I jumped now? Would no one save me? Would they even want too?

_No Amber, _I hissed in my head, _Stop being like this, you have the boys again, they didn't leave you on purpose, you aren't alone anymore. _

I sighed and stared up at the setting sun before a noise shook me out of my reverie. Looking down I saw a rather large bon fire surrounded by logs, sitting on each log was a massive man or boy, I couldn't even tell. But it didn't take me long to recognize Sam Uley and then I immediately knew who the rest of the body builders were.

My eyes searched for the three I missed the most, and they fell upon them all. Quil was laughing with Embry and a younger boy I didn't recognize. They were stuffing hot dogs in the mouth and giggling. I smiled slightly at their antics, they hadn't changed at all.

My eyes swung around searching for the one and only boy I had ever loved and they fell on him in all his gorgeous glory sitting on a log with the fire dancing across his face.

Unfortunately he wasn't alone.

Ah, beautiful Isabella Swan. The girl who's been trying to steal Jacob from me sense we were young. I glared as her long luscious hair swept back over her shoulders and she laughed at something Jake said.

Stupid bitch. Didn't she already have a boyfriend?

Edmund Caulren was it?

"No no that's not it" I muttered to myself.

"Edward Cullen! Ya that's what it was!" I exclaimed

I remembered Jacob angrily bashing him in the car once while Quil and Embry mocked him in the back seat. Smiling slightly I looked back at the scene, when something clicked in my head.

Edward Cullen?

As in son of Dr. Carlisle Cullen?

As in Dr. Sexy Vampire?

WHAT THE FUCK?

Bella fucking Swan was dating a leech?

Oh hell, what is this world coming to.

I sighed and pushed the thought out of my head, Bella Swan and her current boyfriend did not concern me. Whether or not he was a leech. Instead I swiveled my eyes to the big picture. And staring down now I saw how happy Quil, Jacob, and Embry looked. They all were laughing and talking and they looked at home.

Did they even miss me? Would they even want me back? I felt the cold numb feeling start to creep back into my heart and I had to turn away. God why did it have to hurt so damn much?

Of course they were all better off without me. They had a family now, they belong with the other shape shifter's, helping to save La Push from crazy vampires. And where did I fit into their lives now?

Exactly.

Nowhere.

The numb feeling had quickly taken over my body and any sparkle left in my eyes from this morning disappeared.

I stared on with the dead look I had been sporting for the past months and watched as they all seemed to settle down on the logs. I recognized Billy Black as he wheeled himself into the center. Oh how I missed that man. He had always been like a second father to me, since mine was hardly ever home.

He began to speak and everyone listened attentively but I just watched, out of hearing range.

My head pounded with a dull ache and finally I decided I had enough. I turned and walked back to my car. My hands wrapped tightly around my middle, as if they were unconsciously trying to keep me from falling to pieces.

**Ok, So how was that? (: I'll be posting more within the next week. Please keep reviewing and tell me what ya think (: **

**Thanks so much for sticking with me! I know it was short but I really am trying! **

**Please no flames! Thanks again for the read and please review! ~**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey heyyy (: Ok I'm trying to update quicker for everyone (: Thanks for all the reviews! I really appreciate you're guys encouraging words! It's what keeps me writing! **

**Anyways, last chapter was just one of those to catch up on what Amber was thinking and all that (: Alright .. **

**I don't own Twilight! **

**GO! **

_I'm falling apart _

_I'm barely breathing_

_With a broken heart that's still beating. _

_Broken – Lifehouse _

I found myself in the attic that night. My eyes swept over the dusty shelves and boxes and fell on the one thing I had been looking for.

I felt my feet move me to where the old piano my mother used to always play sat forgotten in the farthest corner of the musty room. She had taught me a year before her cancer came back and when she died I slowly felt myself drift away from anything that reminded me of her.

I was much like my father in that way I guess.

But now I couldn't help it, I swept the dust off with my sleeve and sat down heavily on the wood bench. It protested loudly at the weight change but I ignored it. My fingers hovered over the ivory keys before my left pointer finger made the first plunge.

And then I was off.

My hands danced across the sea of Ivory and black, creating a symphony of dark notes. My eyes closed on their own accord and I just _felt. _

The melody that swam out of my soul was dark and hauntingly sad, but it held just a shimmer of hope.

I don't know how much time passed, it could have been days for all I know, but soon enough my eyes snapped open and I was met with the pitch black darkness of my attic. At some point the single light bulb over my head must have flickered off.

Slowly I began to stand, but my body felt weak and with a strangled cry I fell back onto the bench, my arms landed heavily on the keys creating a cacophony of noise before all was silent.

Then I let my head fall onto my arms and I just sobbed.

Why was this so hard? Why did it hurt so much?

Why couldn't my mom be here? Why had God taken her from me?

Why wasn't there anyone to hold me when I cried? Why was I alone?

Why?

Why?

Why?

_I still see your reflection _

_Inside of my eyes_

_They're looking for purpose_

_They're looking for life _

Gingerly I stood and picked my way through the clutter and down the stairs again.

This was no time to be feeling sorry for myself.

My fingers picked at the bandages that were still wrapped around my arm and palm and I decided it was about time to change them.

I wiped the tears off my face and stepped into the kitchen. Searching the drawers I pulled out some medical tape, Neosporin, and a fluffy pad thingy that looked like it could help. As soon as I re-fixed myself up I put everything away and turned to the clock on the microwave.

It was 9:37 pm

So I guess dad wasn't coming to dinner huh?

I picked at some left over lasagna and found myself again staring out the window at the cloudy night. The phone rang but I just let it go to voicemail, I already knew who it would be.

"Hey Amber, uh look, I'm really sorry honey, but I got to stay late tonight again. There's been an emergency- I well I know- I'll try to make it to dinner tomorrow ok? Sorry Amber, I love you."

The line went dead.

Sighing I lifted my plate then deleted the message on the answering machine.

I found myself shrugging on my sweatshirt and slipping my feet into a pair of *Ugg boots. My hand wrenched the door open and before I knew what I was actually doing I was walking into the forest.

My eyes swept over the green canopy all around me. I could hear the crickets chirping their quirky song and the stars above my head just barley twinkled through the thick clouds.

And I smiled, because the forest just felt _right _to me.

I continued walking, slowly picking my way over large roots and around thorn ridden bushes, I hummed as I went.

Then ever so quietly I opened my mouth and began to sing.

"_When you were standing in the wake of devastation  
when you were waiting on the edge of the unknown  
with the cataclysm raining down, insides crying save me now  
you were there impossibly alone._

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation  
you build up hope but failure's all you've known  
remember all the sadness and frustration  
and let it go, let it go.

I splayed my fingers out wide and raised them over my head, my voice becoming louder as I twirled around, my eyes falling shut, I fell into my own fantasy.

_And in a burst of light that blinded every angel  
as if the sky had blown the heavens into stars  
you felt the gravity of temper grace falling into empty space  
no one there to catch you in there arms_

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation  
you build up hope but failure's all you've known  
remember all the sadness and frustration  
and let it go, let it go.

_**Snap **_

My eyes flipped open and I immediately froze. The world I had gotten so lost in fell around me like glitter falling from the sky.

Someone was watching me now. I could feel it. Biting my lip I slowly turned in a circle trying to pinpoint where the eyes I could feel looking at me were coming from.

And then I saw him.

Or it.

A huge wolf stood hidden in the trees. My eyes flew wide and I snapped a hand over my mouth before slowly backing away.

"Holy shit" I breathed.

Ok people, I don't know if you've ever seen a wolf, but I can guarantee that they are NOT supposed to be the size of a horse.

But this one was.

It dipped its head before gingerly stepping towards me. I stood frozen my back pressed up against the rough bark of a tree and I felt my hands trembling at my sides.

The beast stepped into the moonlit clearing I had been dancing in just moments before and my eyes widened when I saw just how God darn beautiful this thing was.

It had glossy russet covered fur and deep milk chocolate colored eyes that I could just get absolutely lost in.

They reminded me of Jacob's.

WAIT.

Everybody slow the fuck down.

Jacob? The werewolf?

And now there's a fucking giant wolf/horse thing standing in front of me that's so Goddamn beautiful and has the eyes of Jacob Black?

"Holy shit" I muttered again.

The Jacob wolf in front of me let out a weezing sound that I swear was a laugh, which of course, caused my heart to triple speed.

Oh God

Oh God

Oh God

I repeated like a mantra in my head.

'Cause seriously guys? The freaking wolf in front of me is my long lost best friend who I am completely in love with and I just _knew _it. I could _feel_ it.

I guess this was kinda proof that Jake, Quil, Embry and the rest of Sam Uley's freaky followers were all werewolves too.

Either that or I'm finally losing it.

But for some odd reason I stepped forward and walked slowly out to meet the russet beast in front of me. I stared into his eyes and I couldn't look away.

And then I was standing right in front of him my hand half raised and my fingers obviously shaking. But I didn't stop, I moved my hand closer and closer until my fingers connected with the softest fur. I spread my hand wide and raked it through the fine hairs on the Jacob/Wolf's cheek.

He let out a low rumbling sound of pleasure and leaned into my hand slightly.

I smiled.

A howl cut through the silence and I gasped as Jacob/wolf wrenched away from me.

My head snapped up and I saw that he was at the other side of the clearing his eyes holding slight remorse. But just as quickly he was at my side again, this time though he nudged me towards the opposite wooded area.

I looked back at him confused, but he just pushed his wet nose against my cheek and nudged me again until I stumbled in the other direction. I turned to look at him once more before I realized he wanted me to go back home, and I knew that there must be something dangerous out there because his nose was suddenly pressed up against the small of my back and he shoved me again but this time slightly harder.

"Okay okay I'm going geez." I muttered before walking quickly back in the direction I had come. Another howl snapped me back to attention and I whirled around to find Jake wolf gone.

And suddenly the forest wasn't so warm anymore, oh yes something had changed out there in the dense leaves. I could only come up with one reason why /Jacob wolf would have to leave so fast and the reason scared me shitless.

Wanna know what it is? I'm sure you've already guessed.

Oh yeah, vampires.

So I did what any self-respecting girl alone in a forest that was possibly filled with cold, sadistic, bloodthirsty leeches would do.

I high tailed it home.

**Ohkay that's it for this chappy! I hope you liked it (: Review and tell me what you think!**

**No flames please! **

**And just so you know, this part of the story does take place during Eclipse. The vampire that was in the forest just then^ is Victoria, we'll be seeing more of her ;D **

**Ok, I know nobody reads these, but please review! If I don't get at least 15 I'm not going to put the next chapter up! **

**I just really want to know what you think (: **

**Thanks guys! LOVE YOU ALL. **


	15. Chapter 15

**AH ! **

**Don't kill me please? I'm sorry ladies and gents I am! **

**Alright so heres the dealioo, My mom is actually getting surgery and she's been really stressed so I've been trying to help her. Sorry for the late chapters! **

**I'll try to keep up!**

**I don't own Twilight. **

I pulled the brush gently through my soft mane of hair as I stared at my haggard appearance in the mirror.

It had been three days since the forest escapade and I had stayed home from school feigning sickness. But today was Tuesday and I had decided to stop hiding out in my room and finally get my ass to school.

Dad had made it home for dinner last night, which had lifted my spirits slightly. We sat at the old oak table and talked about work and school. For a moment I felt like mom hadn't died.

For a moment I felt like we were finally home.

But then I looked at her empty seat and the cold emptiness crept back into my heart as our conversation died and we both stared blankly at our plates.

Dad had promised to come home for dinner more often, he said it had been nice seeing me again.

How lovely.

No really, I did miss my daddy. More then I think I realized, and when we sat there for those small moments just talking I felt as if a small crack in my heart began to repair itself.

So now here I am, wearing a black cashmere sweater dress with grey tights and black flats, brushing my hair and staring blankly at my reflection.

I set the brush back onto my bathroom counter and glided over to my bed, picking up my messenger bag I slung it onto my shoulder and walked over to my bedroom door.

My hand was on the knob when I realized I had forgotten two things, my mom's bracelet, and my journal.

Oh yes ladies and gentlemen, I had taken up to trying to order my thoughts in a small journal I had picked up at CVS.

So far I had written,

_What I know about mythical creatures part 1: _

_1. Werewolves exist. _

_2. There is a pack of them in La Push._

_3. My best friends are apart of this pack. _

_4. They get freakishly buff and their temperature rises to an extreme. _

_5. Vampires exist. _

_6. The Cullens are vampys. _

_7. Vampires are cold, beautiful, strong, and very dangerous. _

_8. Holy mother fucking shit I'm going crazy. _

Ya, I scratched the last part out. But it seemed to have worked, now I was relatively calming down about the fact that I may be at risk of getting my blood sucked by a sadistic vampire anywhere I go.

Joy.

Anyways I clicked the bracelet onto my wrist and shoved the purple journal into my bag before jogging down the steps and grabbing my keys off the hook.

The dewy grass soaked my flats as I ran across the lawn of the school.

Damn, I was going to be late.

I quickly dodged a few stragglers in the halls before skidding to a halt in front of my very own tin of a box we call a locker.

I dumped my books into that black hole and took the books I needed for first period English.

Slamming the door shut I swiveled and began to race down the hall. Glancing at the clock I realized I had approximately two minutes and 37 seconds.

Picking up speed I rounded the corner and BAM.

I'm knocked on my ass, for the second time that year by a huge hot mound of steroid injected flesh.

Except this time no, It isn't sweet Jared.

No, this time it's our very own gorgeous Jacob Black.

I peered up at him through my hair and I believe my heart stopped beating all together.

Oh my God, WHY.

Why do I always end up looking like a fool around the people I want to impress most?

Shit!

And he sure does look extra sexy-licious today…

No shut up Amber!

Ugh, good now I'm fighting with myself.

"Oh, sorry." He says quickly extending a perfectly tanned arm, which is attached to a perfectly tanned hand, which he now wants me to take.

Ok, I can do this.

Breathe.

Reaching up I took his hand and he pulled me into a standing position.

Our eyes locked.

I don't know how much time passed, but it must have been two minutes and 37 seconds, because the shrill sound of the bell jerked me back into reality.

"Oh shit shit shit shit!" I muttered under my breath, I jumped to my knees quickly gathering all my books before jumping up again and sprinting off to my English class.

"Hey!" Jacob called, his voice was like music I swear, but I shook myself out of the trance I had been put in and turned the next corner with out looking back.

Jake, Quil, and Embry were happy now. The picture of them at first beach sitting around the fire with Bella Swan, laughing and eating was branded into my brain.

They looked at home.

And I no longer belonged.

I had finally decided what I was going to do.

Jacob, Em, and Quil were doing just fine without me. Their worlds had already been turned upside down by the whole werewolf thing, I didn't want to shake it up anymore. So I would stay quiet and disappear into the backdrop of La Push high school. When we graduated I would leave Washington and never come back. I only had senior year left. (She's a junior)

I blinked back tears as I wrenched open the door to English, Mrs. Baker gave me a disapproving look but I ignored her and sat in my seat towards the back of the room.

Mrs. Baker droned on and on about God knows what, I had stopped listening. Instead I had decided to write more in my journal, my thoughts were already becoming chaos, I needed to calm down.

Sifting through my books panic seized me as I realized that the purple journal was in fact missing.

My mind reeled trying to find where I might have left it.

In the car? No I had put it in my bag…

In my locker? No, I remember taking it out…

So where…?

Then it hit me.

The hallway, Jacob Black, he must have picked it up with his books by accident!

No!

No!

Fuck!

Shit!

AH!

My heart began to beat rapidly and my palms were sweating. I needed to get it back before he read it and found out I knew! That would ruin everything!

The bell finally rang after what felt like forever and I bolted out of my seat, running into the crowded hallway.

My heart raced as I searched every face for the one I was looking for.

And then I saw him, he was by entrance to the library, but he wasn't alone.

Jacob Black was flanked by Quil, Embry, Paul, Jared, Seth, Collin, and Brady.

They were all staring right at me.

In Jakes hand was a familiar purple journal.

Oh no.

So I fucking panicked.

Turning, I bolted towards the doors and wrenched them open.

I could hear their pounding feet behind me, causing adrenaline to fill my veins.

I pushed myself faster and my feet flew across the pavement, the crisp wind tugging at my hair.

I could hear their shouts but I didn't slow.

No, I wouldn't let them catch me.

Frantically my eyes swept across the parking lot and in a split second I decided that the car wasn't an option, it wouldn't be fast enough.

So I swiveled and dashed full speed into the forest.


	16. Chapter 16

**Gah Don't hate me! I know, I'm such a disappointment, I'm sorry x1763517631**

**Thankyou for all the amazing reviews, I will try to update faster 3**

**I don't own twilight. **

Beads of sweat slid down my back as I pushed my feet faster against the damp earth. Twigs slapped my face and cut my skin. A trickle of blood rolled down my cheek.

Someone screamed my name behind me.

And then I exploded.

No, not physically, like inside me.

My mind went blank and then suddenly voices filled up the space in my head.

Voices that I _recognized. _

_Where is she Seth? _

_Don't let her get away! _

_You scared her, of course she's gunna run! _

_Stupid girl, follow her scent. _

_Don't call Amber stupid! _

Uh okay, .FUCK.

Why was I hearing Paul, Jared, Jake, Seth, Collin, Brady, Quil, and Embry in my freaking head?

And was that Leah?

But as soon as their voices were there, they disappeared again. Leaving me to the peace of having only my own voice in my head.

My feet seemed to speed up, and they were slapping the ground a mile a minute. This shouldn't be possible.

As I ran I realized there were a lot of things going on that shouldn't be possible.

Like the fact that I could now see every single detail and design on the bark and trees around me, or that I could hear the sound of paws hitting the earth behind me, paws that I could calculate were two miles to my left.

And here's another random one, the fact that I could hear, if only for a moment, the freaking La Push wolves in my head!

I stopped abruptly and found myself standing at the very edge of the same cliff in my nightmares. The same cliff where I stood the day I saw Bella and Jake at the bon fire. The same cliff I always seemed to find myself at when I was running away from something.

I stared down into the choppy navy blue waters and my head felt like it was going to explode.

Lifting my hands, I grasp the strands of curls in my fingers and pulled harshly.

For the first time since I found my friends were werewolves, I felt like I was losing it.

Like _really _losing it.

How was this even possible?

A low growl brought me back to reality and I whirled around.

A huge silver grey wolf stood behind me, its lips curled back over its sharp dripping incisors menacingly.

A strangled cry left my lips and I jumped back, only to remember that I was in fact standing on the edge of a very steep cliff.

Too late now.

I tumbled over the edge screaming. Twisting my body I turned my head to see the water rushing up to meet me fast.

Intimidating rocks sprouted out of the dark abyss and I cried out once more before slamming hard into ice cold water.

It felt as if all the breath was knocked out of me in one blow.

Bubbles of precious oxygen left my lips in a silent scream.

Which was a pretty stupid idea, because now I had no fucking air.

Flailing my arms and kicking my legs I desperately tried to claw my way to the surface.

But it did no use, the weight of my water soaked clothes dragged me down and the strength was quickly leaving my body.

I finally stopped struggling as realization crept into my stony heart.

I was going to drown.

I fell back in a horizontal angle and stared up at the waters surface.

The sun suddenly broke through its imprisonment in the clouds and it filtered through the waves, sparkling and dancing across the water. In my delusional state I thought it was quite pretty.

A single second passed in which my eyes slowly began to droop shut.

A splash sounded right over my head, but I had no energy to open my eyes to find what had caused the noise.

Jacob Black, the name scrawled in gold across my minds eye, and the faintest smile touched my blue lips.

Darkness surrounded me.

My eyes flew open and I turned to my left coughing and spluttering up foul tasting seawater.

Blearily I blinked and took in my surroundings. I was lying on the sand of first beach and there was something very warm straddling my waist.

Swinging my eyes around I focused on a very wet Jacob Black.

He was panting and his hands rested on either side of my torso.

"Jake?" I croaked.

His chocolate eyes swung to meet mine and he let out a breath of relief.

Huh?

And then it all came flooding back, my journal, the wolves, running through the forest, the voices in my head, and falling off the freaking cliff.

My eyes widened and immediately a blush formed on my cheeks.

Jacob must have jumped in after me.

He saved my life.

I almost died.

My breathing increased and a single sob escaped me before I was engulfed in Jake's warmth. He was hugging me, holding me to him and rocking back in forth on the sand.

I grasped his soaked black t-shirt and held tightly, not willing to ever let go.

"Shhh, I know angel, I know". He murmured in my ear. His warm breath sent tingles down my spine and I clutched him tighter.

"Jacob". I whispered his name over and over like a prayer.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I realized how pathetic I must look. Sitting sopping wet on the sand, holding onto the boy I love as if he were my lifeline.

Which I guess he was.

When my breathing had finally calmed down Jake's arms loosened around me, Immediately I clutched tighter to his shirt.

"No please Jacob, Don't leave. Don't leave me again"! I cried out, fresh tears rolling down my flushed skin.

I was the most pathetic person in the world, I know. But at that moment, all the broken lonely feelings flew up my throat and clawed my insides to be released.

Panic soared in my chest. And then there was that slippery voice, cackling in the back of my mind, whispering _I told you so. Of course he would leave. He only saved you out of pity. That, and the fact that he wants to know how you know his secret. _

I tried desperately to shove them all away, but I felt the beginnings of hysteria bubble up inside me and I knew it was only a matter of time before I would explode.

"Hush" He murmured scooping me up bridal style, and standing.

"I won't leave you angel". He whispered softly before pressing his lips into my wet curls.

Hot fireworks exploded in my chest and I curled myself into him, trying to soak up as much of Jacob as possible.

He said he wouldn't leave.

My Jacob wasn't leaving me. And if he was, he wasn't leaving anytime soon. I still had him with me, he was staying with me.

With a strangled sigh of weak relief, I slumped my head against his shoulder.

Jake walked purposefully into the forest and for a moment worry rose up inside me, but it quickly vanished, Jacob would never harm me.

Warmth swelled up inside me and a smile touched my lips, my eyelids began to feel heavy and I fought desperately against the fatigue permeating through my body.

"Rest angel, you are safe". Jake's musical voice was the last thing I heard before I succumbed to the welcoming embrace of dreamless sleep.

**Welps, I hope you liked it! Please review and tell me what you think! **

**Love you all! No flames please, I'm very sensitive. **

**Thanks for the read! Next chapter will be up shortly :D **


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey! Thankyou for the reviewsss! You guys are honestly the sweetest. I'm completely shocked that this story is somewhat a success. Thankyou soooo muuuch! Keep 'em up por favor! **

**I don't own Twilight 3 **

**Don't worry! Answers shall come in due time (: I have a plannn !**

The first thing I was aware of was the warmth.

It spread through my body and gave me that fuzzy feeling like drinking hot coco on snow days.

The next thing I was aware of was the voices.

Some were rough and others softer.

One musical one immediately put me at ease.

Jake.

Jacob was with me, wherever I was at this moment it didn't matter, I was safe. Jacob was with me.

The rest of my senses began to awaken and I could smell the undeniable scent of cookies baking in an oven, I could also determine that I was laying on something soft, a couch possibly? And thick blankets were draped over me creating the warmth I had felt earlier.

The voices got louder and I could now hear exactly what they were saying, it sounded as if they were fighting.

"Jacob, Calm down". A gruff voice commanded.

"No Sam! He scared her! And she fell off that fucking cliff because he wasn't careful enough!" Jacob's beautiful voice was marred by anger.

"Look, I didn't mean too. She was standing right there! I had to get her attention and I didn't know how". A rough voice answered. Was that Paul?

"So you fucking growled at her?" Jake cried.

"Language Jacob" Sam chided "And if you two keep this up I'm going to have to take you both outside, and I don't think you want to leave Amber do you Jake?" Sam said. His tone was calm but there was an underlying authority.

Oh, so they were talking about me?

For the second time that day, memories came rushing back and I immediately reddened when I remembered the pathetic way I acted when I awoke on the beach.

"No, It's fine Sam." Jake said, his voice like velvet. A warm hand combed through my damp curls and the tingles it created all over my scalp lead me to know it was Jacob's.

"You cannot fight this Jake, the imprint is not wrong. You will only end up hurting her and yourself by turning from it".

"I know". Jacobs voice sounded resigned and broken. Immediately I wanted to pull him into my arms and soothe the pain that was so apparent in his tone.

"I love them both though Sam". Jake whispered

"She is your soul mate". Sam simply replied.

Panic seized me instantaneously. Who were they talking about? Who was Jake's soul mate?

I decided it was time to wake up.

I opened my eyes, only to immediately shut them against the harsh light. Pain seared through my brain and I whimpered at the terrible headache I could feel coming on.

"Amber?" Jake asked hopefully, and I opened my eyes once more, slowly adjusting to the light, I searched for his face.

I didn't have to look far, for he was sitting right over me, his soft fingers still pulling through my delicate curls.

"Jacob!" I exclaimed happily and sat up.

My head spun for a second but I quickly adjusted and looked at my surroundings.

I was laying on a plushy brown worn leather couch, in front of me was a single mahogany coffee table with a dozen rings staining the wood, where drinks had been placed. There was a smaller leather couch to my left and to my right was a red comfy looking armchair. A TV sat on top of a mahogany cabinet that was filled with movies and game consoles. On the right was a huge window enclosed by thick red drapes. A vase of lilies and roses sat on a side table next to the armchair.

All in all it was an adorable living room, homey feeling.

Turning I surveyed the people in the room, Sam was standing by the window, two thick arms crossed over his chest. Next to him sitting in the armchair was a beautiful women, her face marred by three long scars cutting through the smooth flesh. But she was still gorgeous. Swiveling around I saw Paul sitting on the smaller couch he glowered at me when I met his eyes. And then there was Jacob, kneeling in front of me, his eyes worried.

"Oh, uh hello". I murmured with a blush. Jake chuckled in front of me and I slapped his arm lightly.

"Hello Amber, I am Sam Uley. I believe you might have heard of me". Came Sam's voice I didn't meet his eyes but nodded anyways.

"I'm Emily, Sam's girlfriend" The girl in the armchair spoke softly, I looked up for moment and she shot me a warm motherly smile.

I blushed again.

"Paul." Muttered the man on the other couch.

I simply nodded in greeting keeping my eyes on my hands, which were now twisting the blanket between my fingers nervously.

Sam opened his mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by the door banging open.

My eyes shot up as seven massive men walked in laughing and shoving each other around.

All went quiet though, when they saw me.

"Amber! I'm so glad you're okay!" shouted one of the men fondly. I watched him for a moment before recognizing him as Quil. Smiling tentatively I murmured a thank you.

All the other men shouted exclamations similar to Quil's and another blush reheated my cheeks as I muttered a few more thank yous.

Embry stepped forward and placed a calloused hand a top my head. "I'm sorry". He said quietly. Looking up I met his eyes and smiled.

"Don't worry Em, It's all okay". My answer was just as quiet, but he heard me and relaxed almost immediately, as if a weight was taken off his shoulders. Quil nodded in agreement over Embry's shoulder, his eyes apologetic. I shot him a reassuring smile.

"Okay" Sam's voice boomed, effectively drawing the attention of everyone in the room. "Amber, I have a few questions for you."

I nodded slowly and shifted uncomfortably on the couch, everyone was watching me.

"How did you find out about us?" Sam asked bluntly.

I bit my lip before finally looking up to meet his eyes squarely. And I told them, all about my mother and her diary, about how I had met Dr. Cullen when I went to talk to my father at the hospital, and about how he told me of how he used to be in the pack.

Everyone listened attentively and only interrupted when I spoke of Dr. Cullen. There was a collective round of snarls that shook the room until Sam had hushed them.

When I had finished it was silent until Sam spoke up.

"So you wrote what you knew about everything in a journal to collect your thoughts?" He questioned with a raised eyebrow. He didn't say it in a sarcastic matter, it was merely a question, yet I still felt a fool.

Paul snickered and I blushed madly while looking down at my twiddling fingers.

"Y-yes" I whispered. I was nervous, the room was filled with frightening men who could change at any moment into giant wolves and here I am the complete outsider. I was throwing off their fragile balance, with my stupidity and that dumb purple journal.

Jacob's warm hand covered my own and my eyes shot up to meet his, he smiled encouragingly and I smiled back, suddenly feeling a lot stronger.

Looking once more towards Sam I nodded again, "Yes, I did." My voice was hard and dared anyone to laugh at me.

"But, I have a question."

"Go on" Sam nodded

"Well earlier today, when I was uhm running away from you guys," Cue blush. "I heard voices in my head. Like your voices." I said gesturing around the room to the massive group of guys squished on couches and lounging on the floor.

"And then, I could like run faster, faster then I've ever run in my life. And I could see everything! But I don't know what happened, it was so odd." My voice faded out towards the end and I stared up at Sam with a desperate need for him to tell me answers.

Sam looked puzzled. "So you stayed in human form? Even when you could hear the pack?"

"Yes." I murmured.

"How interesting." Sam muttered thoughtfully. "I will ask the elders about this particular incident tomorrow, I have a meeting with them anyways."

I nodded relieved that he seemed to know what to do about my peculiar case.

Sam watched me thoughtfully and when he looked as if he was about to say something again the door burst open for the second time.

In walked Leah Clearwater in all her gorgeous glory, her eyes swept the room until landing on me. When I met her gaze I saw something so familiar in her eyes.

Leah's eyes looked just like mine had, empty, cold, and full of barely masked agony.

Leah was broken. Leah was just like me.

"Leah" I said softly in greeting, and then it clicked.

Leah! I had heard her in my head when I had been running! She was part of the pack too!

Swiveling my head I saw Emily and Sam close together, Sam had remorse in his eyes and in Emily's, guilt.

I had heard all about it, how Sam Uley left his long time girlfriend for her cousin. And then Harry Clearwater, said girlfriends father, had passed away not too long ago.

"Oh Leah." I whispered softly, before kicking off the blanket and getting shakily to my feet.

She stopped in the middle of the room and looked back at me with an odd emotion in her eyes.

Stumbling over to her I realized she was very much taller then me, must be the werewolf gene.

She looked at me in confusion but I simply wrapped my arms around her thin torso. She stiffened for a moment before hugging me back, so tightly I could hardly breathe, but I did not complain. Leah needed this.

She let out a strangled sob right there in the living room, in front of the whole pack. But I simply rubbed her back soothingly.

"I know Leah, I know." I whispered, my own eyes filling with tears.

When we pulled back the room was completely silent, no one moved, but Leah looked down at me. A bittersweet smile twisted onto her face.

"We cannot sink beneath our anguish Leah, we must rise above it, and place all our hopes and dreams on the thin shoulders of chance." I murmured, And then we parted. I sat back down on the couch next to Jacob who pulled me into his side. And Leah sat next to Seth, her brother, who was looking at me in complete awe.

In fact, everyone was. I blushed bright red and hid my face behind Jake's arm.

Sam cleared his throat and it seemed to snap everyone out of the trance they were in.

Looking expectantly towards him I was surprised to see Emily with tears on her cheeks looking at me with such gratitude. And I realized I had done what she could not, even if it was something as simple as a hug and the wise words of my mother.

"Well," Sam said softly, "I suppose you can go home, you've been through quite a bit today and I think a good nights sleep and dry clothes will do you good. Jake, you can drive her, Can't you?"

Jake nodded but then spoke up, "I don't have my car actually". He muttered and Sam simply nodded before fishing in his pockets.

He pulled out a pair of keys and tossed them to Jake, "Be back in time for patrols."

Jacob nodded before scooping me up in his arms. I blushed again but then looked over his shoulder and waved bashfully at the men and two women in the room.

"Bye!" They chorused and I smiled lightly.

Jake placed me gingerly in the passenger seat of Sam's red pick up. Before circling around and hopping in the drivers side.

The ride was fairly quiet as I tried to think of a way to begin a conversation.

When we were only 10 minutes from the house Jake broke the silence.

"Look Amber, Gosh I'm so so sorry." His voice was filled with such pain and remorse it brought tears to my eyes. "I know when we left it hurt you, God I never wanted to hurt you." He looked over at me in earnest and I nodded slightly.

"Sam said-well I mean we weren't supposed to tell – but I- ugh, there's so much left to tell you, God I don't even know where to begin." He said frustrated.

I sighed before looking up at him.

"Jake, It's okay." My voice was merely a whisper but I smiled at him.

But something snapped in me and I knew I had to tell him now, before he left again.

"Jacob, I-I love you, I'm in love with you!" I said my voice hysteric and I twisted all the way in the seat to look at him with frantic eyes.

"Amb-"

"No! Let me finish!" I shouted over him. "I've loved you since the moment you befriended me on that playground. Jake you're my whole world and I can't lose you again! I won't!" I cried out, fresh tears brewing in my eyes.

He didn't say a word, but he stared straight forward, his hands clenching the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles had turned white.

It took me a moment to realize we were outside my house, it took me only a second longer to realize I had made a terrible mistake.

"Oh God." I whispered, clamping a hand over my mouth, I jumped from the car and ran towards the front door.

I should have known, God I was so stupid! He was still in love with Bella. I just ruined our entire friendship. I had moved to fast.

In my haste to get away I tripped on a loose rock, but before I could fall a hot hand wrapped tightly around my forearm, pulling me up and I fell flush with the chest of my rescuer.

"Oh Amber." Jake said softly before embracing me tightly.

"F-forget I said anything." I mumbled out against his chest, my face on fire.

He chuckled humorlessly and shook his head. "No." He said darkly.

Pulling away I looked up at his beautiful face and he met my eyes.

"I won't forget Amber. Because I feel the same way."

"What?" I whispered breathlessly.

"Have you ever heard of imprinting?" He asked, when I nodded he continued, "Well I imprinted on you Amber Davis, you're my soul mate."

My mouth dropped open and he chuckled, but his eyes were dark and I couldn't detect any mirth hidden in their depths.

"You don't seem happy about it." I whispered.

He stared down at me. Before saying softly. "I love you Amber, I do. But as you know I'm also in love with her." Immediately I knew of the girl he spoke of.

Oh Bella Swan, why can't you just disappear?

"You're my soul mate, but these feelings for her, Amber they won't go away. I-I need time. Can you give me that?" He whispered.

I nodded blindly looking anywhere but him, because this still felt oddly like rejection to me.

"God, Angel I'm sorry." He murmured over and over, his lips against my hair.

"It's okay Jake." I said softly back. "I'll give you all the time you need." The words burned a little on the way out, but I knew they were true.

I'd wait forever if it meant he'd eventually be mine.

He sighed before releasing me with a last lingering kiss on my temple. I turned to walk away when his hand shot out and caught my wrist.

"Come to Emily's tomorrow, after school." He said. "You know the way don't you?" I simply nodded, it wasn't far from my own home, I was sure I could find it.

He sighed and flashed me a breathtaking smile before trudging back towards the driver side door.

"Oh Jake!" I shouted before he could clamber in. "Thank you! For um, saving me." I blushed.

He grinned "My pleasure."

I found myself in the kitchen later that night, staring down at the thin pink scars on my wrist and palm. The gauze had become wet from my plunge, so I took it off. I knew they would never go away. They were proof that I had felt pain and loneliness so harsh that it literally tore me to shreds. I hoped desperately that I would never have to return to that dark place inside of my heart, that I would never feel that searing agony again.

But as I thought a smile lit up my face, and all though Jake was still in love with Bella, I knew I had a chance.

I was his soul mate after all, we were fated for each other. And though I knew the road ahead of me was rocky, it would most definitely be worth it in the end.

**Alright, longest chapter I have ever written! I hope It was good! Again sorry for the rotten updating schedules! I hope you like it!**

**Don't worry, all your answers about her abilities will be answered soon (: I have a plan :D **

**Review PLEASE! 3 **

**Love you all! Thanks for the read!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Thankyou for the reviews! I really appreciate all the support(: It makes me so happy. **

**I don't own Twilight**

**READ: **

**And Also I kind of have a big favor to ask.. My friend just passed away from leukemia and she was only 15. My heart is broken for her and her family, If I could please ask you to keep this wonderful girl and her family in your prayers. Thankyou **

The gravel crunched under my tires as I rumbled down the secluded road that would lead me to Sam Uley's humble abode in the woods.

It took me about fifteen minutes of mindlessly driving around before I could recall the familiar street Jacob and I drove down the day before.

School had been a boring affair today, none of the pack boys turned up. Which left me in quite a stupor, but my mind was also filled with wild thoughts about what could possibly be wrong with me.

I mean, when I was running I felt like I was flying through the trees, and my eyesight had become so acute I could pick up a tiny ladybug crawling on a leaf 200 yards away.

Not to mention I heard the freaking La push wolves in my head for a moment there.

With a soft sigh my thoughts turned to Jacob. Looking back I had turned into quite the mess, and I still felt the edges of my pain fluttering barely out of sight and it scared me. I still had no appetite and my slight weight looked rather unhealthy, the natural sheen to my hair had diminished over the past months but I knew Jake, Quil, and Embry would be the perfect medicine to get me back on track.

I took a moment to check myself out in the rear view mirror and bit my lip when I saw my eyes had just a tiny sparkle of what they once did. Surveying the rest of my face, I concluded that the messy chocolate bun a top my head, paired with the huge over sized grey sweatshirt and blue skinny jeans worked just swimmingly with the kind of mood I was in today.

Lazy.

My feet were clad in a pair of light pink converse and I tapped the left in beat with the soft music playing on the radio.

Oh yes, I noticed I had started coming back to life, though I still had a fair ways to go, things seemed to be looking up.

My smile barely tugged at my lips as I pulled into the dirt driveway of Sam Uley and his fiancé Emily Young. Emily was kind enough and though Sam was slightly intimidating, I could deal.

Pulling to a stop in front of their house I surveyed it for a moment. Yesterday I had been so caught up in the oddity of my situation, I hadn't taken time to check out my surroundings.

It was a simple cabin, made out of sturdy looking logs with a warm red front door. It was two levels I could see, with windows that littered the sides, all of which had flower boxes hanging outside them. The garden out front swarmed with lovely colorful foliage. A thin line of smoke drifted out of the tall chimney and was the finishing touch on the welcoming home.

Drumming my fingers nervously on the steering wheel I tried to muster up the courage to actually get out of the car when the bang of the door flying open caused me to jump and let out a small shriek.

Two giant men thundered their way to my car while laughing heartily at my "girlish screams" as they put it.

They wrenched open my door and I gracelessly tumbled out onto the driveway. I blushed bright red from my seat on the dirt floor and peered up at the two men laughing crazily above me, leaning on each other for support.

Quil and Embry seemed to think my random acts of klutz, were great entertainment.

Angrily I dashed to my feet and eyed them with cold malice.

They abruptly stopped laughing and stood stalk still, staring at me with wide eyes.

They looked scared.

Fucking good.

A low snarl passed through my lips and I took a menacing step forward, to which they took a few stumbling steps back.

"You stupid, egotistical, overly large, steroid injected, sorry excuses for human beings!" I shouted throwing a stiff finger in each of their directions. "How dare you! You fucking scared the living day lights out of me! You big fat bum faces!" I shrieked at the top of my lungs.

"Sorry, we're sorry Amby" Whined Quil, wringing his hands together.

"Yeah Amberpoo we love you bunches and would never even dream of scaring you again, right Quil? Asked Embry nervously, turning towards Quil with an expectant expression.

"Right Embry! That's absolutely right!" Quil shouted enthusiastically throwing a tanned fist in the air for emphases.

That was it, I couldn't take it anymore.

Spluttering into giggles, I clutched my stomach and bent over at the waist. My laughter filled up the small cleared area around the house and with one look at Quil and Ems bewildered expressions I couldn't help but dissolve into cackles again.

Finally regaining some composure I stood up with a deep breath and wiped away a tear that had escaped.

It had been a while since I laughed last.

Quil and Embry stared at me with identical expressions, mouths hanging open and eyes wide.

"You should have seen your faces!" I said breathlessly, a few giggles seeping through.

And just like that their dumbfounded expressions turned into a cross between scowls and amused smiles.

In one smooth movement Embry scooped me up and trudged up the rest of the way to the house, Quil followed behind. Both ignored my loud protests.

Stupid oafs.

They opened the door without even knocking and I heard a chorus of "Hey Amber!" come from all areas of the house, causing a smile to lighten my shadowed face.

"Hi" I responded timidly. Embry set me gently on my feet and gave me an encouraging smile. I punched him lightly on the arm.

Emily bustled out of the kitchen wearing a light blue apron adorned with massive black paw prints that walked up her stomach and crossed to her left shoulder. I grinned when I saw it, I'm sure it had been a present from one of the guys.

She smiled brightly at me and her eyes danced with a motherly love that was so genuine it almost moved me to tears.

"Hi sweetie, you mind helping me in the kitchen? I'm afraid Sam and Jake are still out on patrols. They'll be home soon."

At the sound of Jake's name I flushed bright red and looked to my feet trying to cover my burning cheeks. But by Em, Quil's, and Emily's soft laughter I'm sure they all saw it.

Never the less I nodded "That'd be awesome, whatcha bakin?" I asked lightly trying to uncover the old bubbly personality I used to have.

She smiled and looped her arm through mine. "Well right now I'm making dinner, so the main course would be green beans, mashed potatoes, peas, carrots, some bread rolls, and honey glazed ham, Oh I do hope you'll be joining us." She said expectantly, my mouth watered and I nodded.

Some whoops followed the description and I peered into the living room to see Seth, Quil, Embry, Paul, and Jared circled around a video game counsel and staring zombie like at the two fighting characters on the screen.

"Sounds great Ms. Young" I replied softly as she tugged me into the kitchen.

"Oh child no" She said turning on me with wide eyes "It's Emily to you love, you make me feel old." I blushed and murmured a sorry, in which she hushed me with a wave of her hand.

As we stepped into the kitchen I become aware of another body that moved about the food filled counters, seasoning and sprinkling the dinner with oils and spices. She was just over 5'3 and had pin straight black hair that hung off her shoulders and fell to the middle of her back. Her slight figure was adorned in a light pink t shirt and a jean knee length skirt. Her skin was the beautiful tanned glow of all the natives and her features were small and dainty, almond shaped brown eyes flicked over to me nervously and she smiled.

"Oh Kim! How rude of me! Kim this is Amber, Amber this is Kim." Emily introduced and I flashed Kim a smile. She grinned back in return and continued making dinner.

Pretty soon we were all running around the kitchen, mashing potatoes and setting timers, Emily had one oven glove on and her hair was pinned up in chopsticks.

We giggled and spoke like old friends and I was surprised by how easily I fit in with these two ladies. They were so welcoming of me, and Kim was in my grade so I knew that come tomorrow I'd have a new companion to sit with.

When the last timer sounded we pulled all the food out and set them on various plates. Carrying them to the dinning room, we put them up on the long mahogany table and placed red ceramic plates on top of yellow woven place mats. With all the utensils and napkins in place, we put a pitcher of lemonade in the middle and sat back with a sigh.

"Good work ladies, I'd say tonight's dinner is a success." Declared Emily.

Kim nodded in agreement, smiling triumphantly over the table.

"That was so much more work then I thought" I groaned "Are you sure they're going to eat all this food?" I asked uncertainly.

Emily and Kim both giggled "Oh darling they'll be asking for seconds!" Emily exclaimed.

I smiled softly and opened my mouth to retaliate when the door opening cut me off.

In walked Sam Uley, flanked by Jacob Black. Leah was following solemnly behind, and two other men I didn't quite recognize trailed in after.

Sam immediately rushed to Emily scooping her in his arms in an embrace so intimate I had to look away.

It wasn't hard to do, as I was already staring at the god like creature who just walked in the door.

Jacob's chocolate eyes met mine and I was pinned under their enrapturing gaze. I knew now how a rabbit felt in the eyes of a fox, Jacob's gaze was so intense. I felt naked under his scrutiny.

He wore a pair of low rising cut offs and a fitted black hoodie. His ink black hair was growing out and it fell a little into his eyes. He looked so delicious, I couldn't help when my tongue darted out to wet my lips.

His eyes darkened and zeroed in on my mouth, my face heated up. Would the blushing ever end?

A gagging sound shook me from my reverie and I turned my gaze upon Leah who was rolling her eyes. She turned to disappear into the living room, but not before flashing me a friendly smile.

I returned it.

When I looked back to Jake I was surprised to find him right in front of me. He had moved so fast! A tiny "eep" left my lips and I stumbled back almost slipping on the floor, if not for the muscular arm that shot out and caught me at the last second.

"I don't remember you ever being this clumsy." He whispered huskily in my ear and pulled me up flush against his chest.

Blushing I buried my head in his chest, inhaling his scrumptious spicy scent. "I-I wasn't" I stuttered. He chuckled darkly before pulling me back and dropping a kiss on my hair.

The sound of Emily demanding order made me look up to find all the pack men crowding into the dining room.

Woah, when did they all get in here? I must have been totally zoned out.

It wasn't a surprise considering the gorgeous creature standing in front of me.

"Ladies first! You know the rules boys!" Shouted Emily over the cacophony of voices. A couple of the guys muttered protests but were silenced quickly by one snarl from Sam.

Jake gave me a gentle shove and I slowly weaved my way through the mass of bodies and took a seat next to Kim, who smiled brightly at me. Scooping small portions of food onto my plate I settled back and noticed Emily sitting in a chair a little down the table from me.

With all of us seated the men suddenly swarmed, they wrestled over chairs and slapped incredibly large amounts of food onto the ceramic plates in front of them.

I gaped as they all began stuffing their faces as if they were starving men. A low chuckle to my left caused me to turn and there, sitting next to me, was Jacob.

He was smiling his dark eyes dancing with amusement and I blushed, looking back to my plate I began to nibble on a roll, watching the crowd around me as they talked and laughed with each other.

"Is that all you're going to eat?" A soft voice inquired from my right. Looking up I met Kim's concerned eyes and I blushed under her scrutiny.

"Oh right, I uh I ate before I got here." I murmured out.

She simply nodded, but didn't look convinced.

Kim and I spoke some more over dinner and I found out that Jared had imprinted on her and they were very happy. Her favorite color was blue because it was the color of Jared's eyes, she loved Pride and Prejudice and had read it over thirty four times, cover to cover, and she had a cat named Missy who Jared absolutely despised.

We were in the middle of a laughing fit when a knock on the door could be heard. Emily stood and gracefully swept out of the room with a simple "Be right back."

Voices drifted in from the other room, but I wasn't listening to what was said. I was to busy watching how Quil suddenly sat up a little straighter and a wide grin splayed across his features.

Just then the tiny pitter patter of feet danced down the hall and into the dining room, Quil jumped up as a tiny voice shouted, "QWUIL!"

A beautiful little girl was scooped up in Quil's arms before I could blink. Her black pigtails swished and she clutched his cheeks, giggling and screaming his name over and over.

Uh, what?

Emily pulled out a spare plate and put some left over's on, the little girl settled into Quil's lap and began picking at her food while he tried to coax her to eat it.

Conversations started up again and everyone just seemed to ignore the two as if it was normal.

Huh?

I must be seriously missing something, because last time I checked Quil was an only child. So that ruled out baby sister…

Confused I turned to Jake who was already watching me. Blushing I looked from him back to Quil, "Uh Jake, just wondering, but uh why is Quil holding a three year old?"

He smirked "That's Claire, Emily's niece. Quil imprinted on her."

I almost choked.

"What!" I sputtered and he grinned.

"He imprinted on her." He said again with a shrug, his eyes looking lazily around the room before blinking back to me.

"But how- I mean- what?" I stuttered causing his smile to widen.

"Amber, you know the legends, as long as we keep phasing we're immortal. Don't get the wrong idea, Quil isn't into her like that, at least not yet anyways." He explained "You're imprint is your soul mate, it just so happens that Quil's soul mate is three years old. So he'll wait for her to grow up. First he'll be like her older brother, then her best friend, and eventually her lover."

I nodded thoughtfully, my eyes finding there way across the table to where Claire was stubbornly refusing to touch the peas and Quil was desperately explaining the need for vegetables in a child's diet.

I giggled and turned back to Jacob, who was now was smiling and talking in soft tones to Embry.

How I wished that we could be like that. Looking around at all the imprintees, they all looked so happy with their respective partners.

It broke my heart to know I was the odd one out. My Jacob was in love with someone else. If it hadn't been for this super natural phenomenon then he wouldn't even have feelings for me other then friendship.

Swallowing hard I pushed my barely touched plate away and sat back, closing my eyes I tried desperately to push away the black ominous hole of pain that threatened to rip open in the middle of my chest.

Sam cleared his throat.

Opening my eyes I saw he was looking at me, everyone was actually, most with concerned expressions, Paul with a sneer. The room had gone silent, when had that happened?

Blushing I looked to Sam who smiled slightly at me.

"I talked to the elders last night Amber, they believe they know what happened to you." He spoke with his low gravely voice and I felt my heart leap with excitement. I would finally get some answers.

Letting out a breath of air I sat up straighter "What did they say?"

"The elders believe that you are a sort of half breed. You are both human and wolf, but the wolf gene is not as prominent in you." He explained "There was an old legend, most had forgotten about it, since it was smaller and less famous in our tribe, but it tells of a women who had the ability to communicate and run with the pack. She was stronger, faster, and immortal just like the wolves. The only thing that could kill her was venom from the cold ones."

He paused for a moment to let me digest the information before continuing again "The legend explains that this was caused by the women being the mate of the pack alpha. Because the alphas spirit wolf is so strong and so connected to his mate, it gives itself partially to her. Giving her it's wolf like qualities so that she may live longer in order to preserve the tribe and create a stronger alpha heir."

My eyes widened "But you're the alpha!" I all but began hyperventilating, if not for the warm hand drawing soothing circles on my back, I think I would have passed out.

Sam smiled slightly before shaking his head, "Not the real one" He muttered before looking to Jake expectantly.

The beautiful man next to me spoke up then "I'm the true alpha of the pack." He said simply, his eyes gazing intensely into mine. "I gave the position to Sam because I did not want it."

"Wha- what?" I murmured, beginning to feel light headed.

Sam smiled sympathetically, "I know it's a lot to take in."

I took a deep breath before shaking my head, "No, no I can handle this." I said, and I was surprised to find my voice did not even tremble.

Sam smiled and then stood up from his seat at the head of the table, "Well then Amber Davis," He reached out his arms gesturing to the men around me "Welcome to the pack."

**WOOO! That was a long one. I hope you liked it! **

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	19. Chapter 19

**Hey guys, Thankyou so much for the reviews! They mean a lot 3 **

**HERE YOU GO : **

**I don't own twilight **

A vicious snarl tore through the silence. It was so full of barely contained rage that I jumped in fright.

Turning I saw that Jacob was now on his feet, his eyes were flat black and he was shaking so hard his figure was a blur.

Gasping I sat frozen in my seat while the people around me jumped into action. Kim, Claire, and Emily were whisked to another room and the rest of the men stood, preparing to jump into action.

"No" growled Jake "We did not discuss her becoming apart of the pack Samuel." His voice surprised me by being deadly calm. But the underlying fury was enough to make me tremble in fright.

No one spoke but Sam and Jake entered an intense glare battle.

"Amber," Sam's voice was soothing "Amber come over to me honey." He said, his eyes never leaving Jake's.

I stood up shakily. The scraping of my chair on the hardwood was the only sound in the room.

A low rumble emitted from the man next to me and like lightening his hand shot out, snaking around my waist, he pressed me possessively against his muscular body.

"NO!" he shouted, the sheer volume of his voice made me want to reach up and cover my ears, but he had me pinned so tightly against him I couldn't move if I tried.

"Jacob, let go of Amber. You don't want to phase right next too her do you?" Embry's calm voice cut through the tension, I could hear Claire crying in the other room.

Jacob's only answer was a growl, his pupils were like slits, and barely visible against his darkening iris's.

Quil took a half step forward, which was obviously a mistake, as Jake took a measured step back dragging me with him, his eyes flashing dangerously.

"She is a part of the pack Jacob, I as the alpha have decided it." Authority filled Sam's voice and I could hear the growl building up in Jake's throat.

Why was he being like this?

My thoughts were becoming hazy. I felt completely overwhelmed.

This was too much. I think I'm going insane. Maybe I dreamt this all up as an excuse for why it seemed no one could ever love me.

"Amber," Sam said calmly without taking his eyes off Jake's trembling form. "Amber, I need you to calm him down."

"W-what?" I stuttered my eyes going wide.

"You're the only one who can bring him back now." He murmured thoughtfully "His animalistic instincts have taken over, you need to soothe him."

"H-h-how?" I whimpered

A smile barely flashed across his face but he didn't answer. My eyes swung around the room to all of the pack. But none of them met my frightened gaze. Instead they were all staring at Jake with varying anxious expressions.

Well ok, time to be brave.

Slowly I attempted to twist in Jakes arms, but he kept me pressed against him tightly, my head resting just under his chin.

"J-Jake?" I whispered. He stiffened beneath me. "Jake please you're scaring me." My voice broke off into a soft sob at the end and Jake's muscles bunched quickly before slowly beginning to relax.

With his hands loosened around me I lifted up my shaking fingers and stroked his smooth russet cheek.

This seemed to calm him down completely and the shaking subsided. His eyes slowly moved down to my face and he reached a warm hand up to wipe something wet from under my eye. Surprised I stared into his chocolate eyes.

I hadn't known I had been crying.

He made a soft noise, low in the back of his throat.

And then he was gone.

I vaguely heard the back door swing shut. Stung, I suddenly felt very cold. I wanted to run after him, to hold him, to know he was okay. I wanted to ask him why, but I most of all I just wanted to be near him, feel his warmth dance across my skin.

I stumbled forwards, towards the back door. But a strong hand gripped me by the elbow, not allowing me to move. I struggled crying out Jacob's name in a hoarse voice.

And suddenly I stopped abruptly. My eyes flew wide and I was barely aware of Quil and Embry's concerned voices. Someone was stroking my hair. Someone was calling my name.

But I couldn't focus because he had left. The edges of the hole danced in delight at my pain and I shoved at them trying to keep them away.

And then like a camera zooming into focus I blinked and was thrust back into reality.

Quil's face was inches from mine, while Embry supported my weight. A crying Claire clung to Emily and Sam stood next to her, his worried eyes trained on my face. The rest of the pack waited behind them, all staring at me with wide eyes.

Oh awesome they think I'm a freak _already_.

Absently I reached up and swiped the dribble of tears away. "Thank you for the lovely dinner Emily." I said my voice even "But I think I should be going home now."

Emily nodded her eyes never moving from their inspection on my face "Of course dear, will you come tomorrow? There's a bon fire down on first beach."

I bit my lip, would I be wanted?

As if reading my mind Sam spoke up "You are a part of this pack now Amber, You belong with us. Do not worry about Jacob. I will speak to him. The bon fire starts at five."

"I'll pick you up." A feminine voice stated from the crowd behind Sam and I looked up to see Leah. She smiled and winked at me. "It'll be fun."

I nodded and smiled a little "Ok" I murmured. There were some excited yelps fro the pack and I blushed before softly saying goodbye and disappearing out the door. A few more worried members looked like they wanted to follow me, but were held back by Sam.

I ran clumsily out into the pouring rain.

That's funny, I hadn't noticed it had even started raining.

Pulling the sweatshirt more securely around me I quickly hopped in my car. And backed out of the driveway. I could see them watching me from the window, their concern was the sweetest feeling and it filled my heart with warmth.

That warmth was quickly deflated though, when my thoughts turned to Jake. Why did he run out?

I let out an aggravated sigh and began to drive home at a thoughtful snails pace.

BLING The last bell rang through the halls of La Push high school, and almost immediately the hallways were brimming with enthusiastic students.

Screams of weekend plans, parties, and who was hooking up with who filled my ears as I shoved through the mass of teens. Stopping at my locker I poured in my respective binders and swinging it over my back, walked towards the door.

The cool fresh wind swept over my face and I heaved a sigh. Ah Friday, how I love thee.

"Amber!" A soft voice called from my left, smiling I turned to see Kim waving frantically and running towards me. I pulled up my lips in a weak smile and met her half way. Jared emerged through the throng of people to stand by her side.

"You're going tonight right?" She asked smiling brightly and blushing as Jared's hand wound around her waist.

I nodded and couldn't help but grin at their cuteness, "Yeah, I decided what the heck? It'll be fun." I said simply giggling little.

She smiled brightly and we hugged before parting ways.

Opening the door to my home I was surprised to see my father lounging on the couch with a beer hanging loosely in his hand, watching some football game.

"Dad" I said. My voice dazed even to my own ears.

He turned and smiled at me, "Hey Amber, I wasn't feeling to good, decided I'd come home early from the office."

Warmth swelled in my chest and I smiled brightly "Cool, I'm glad you're home!" My voice was excited but the smile soon slipped off my face as I remembered the plans I had tonight.

Watching me closely my dad smiled softly "I know about the bon fire down on the beach tonight sweetie, no need to worry about your old man, I can take care of myself. You go have fun."

My smile if possible got bigger "Oh thank you daddy!" I shrieked skipping to his side and kissing his cheek.

He chuckled and nodded once "I know I've been neglecting you lately Amber, I apologize. I'm going to turn it around. Your mother wouldn't be proud of the way I've been treating our daughter." His voice grew solemn at the end and I shook my head vigorously.

"No dad, you haven't been neglecting me. I know it's been difficult for you." I said softly putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I should have been there for you Ams, especially when your friends were not. But I'm going to patch up the holes I created, don't you worry. Now you go have fun tonight with the pack, ya hear?"

I smiled a little and nodded kissing his cheek once more before bounding up the steps to my room. Once I closed the door I heaved a huge sigh before assessing my messy room silently.

Clothes were strewn across the floor and a pink bra hung from my bedpost. Giggling I tore it off and threw it in my closet, before freezing up completely.

Oh God.

What do I wear?

With a shriek of panic I ran to my closet and threw open the double doors. Throwing clothes over my shoulder, I rummaged aggressively through the junk.

An hour and a half later I was staring at myself in the bathroom mirror.

I had chosen a dark blue airy dress. The design had different shades of blue swirling in an enticing pattern across the fabric. A snug navy blue sweater hung off my shoulders and I wore a pair off black sandals. With my bracelet in place, I ran a brush through my curls and decided to leave my hair down. Grabbing my phone I glanced at the clock to see it read exactly 4:30.

With a tired sigh I collapsed on my bed. Tonight I would turn it around, Jake would be there and I would be assertive and march right up too him and ask him about yesterday. I wouldn't chicken out or be afraid. I was so tired of the horrid pain that bloomed from my lonely heart, Jacob was the key to fixing me, I could feel it.

The sound of a horn beeping outside made me smile.

Dancing down the steps I waved to my dad as I bounded out the door and launched off the porch.

I suddenly felt so much freer, and I hoped desperately that the feeling wouldn't leave.

Leah grinned at me from the front seat of a chipping old blue pick up and I smiled back before jumping in the passenger side.

"You excited?" She asked as we pulled out of my driveway.

"Hell yeah!" I replied laughing.

She raised an eyebrow before her smile turned rogue "You know, Jacob's going to be there." She said in a singsong voice.

Red stained my cheeks as she cackled.

"You are too cute squirt." She said simply and I punched her playfully in the arm.

"Squirt" I muttered disdainfully as she pulled into the parking lot next to first beach. I could already see tables brimming with food and the massive pack men buzzing around and lounging on logs.

She laughed loudly as we made our way towards the men, which caused most to turn and look at us with shocked faces.

Emily ran up and greeted us both with hugs, albeit Leah's more cautiously, but it was a sweet gesture all the same.

Leah and I settled ourselves next to Kim and Jared on a log. Jared began telling a story animatedly, which had us all in a fit of giggles by the end. I wiped away a tear and looked around the area once more, but there was no sign of him.

With a soft sigh I rested my elbows on my knees and propped my head on my hands, now only half listening to Jared and Kim's playful banter.

Where was Jacob? Maybe he was mad at me for yesterday? But I thought for sure he would show, and I didn't really do anything wrong. My head began to pound and I felt the bubbly mood I had been in slipping away. Looking up I saw Quil laughing with Claire. Emily was leaning on Sam's shoulder, a notebook in her hand. Embry was on the other side of Leah staring thoughtfully into the fire, and as if feeling my eyes he turned to me and flashed me a wicked grin. Paul and a boy who's name I believed to be Collin, looked to be having an eating contest, while Collin's friend Brady looked on in amusement.

People regularly got up and filled their plates with food, and though I was asked multiple times if I wanted any, I always refused. I was waiting for him, and everyone seemed to know it.

Thirty minutes later I was beginning to feel he wasn't going to show, but my worries were soon dashed as I heard his distinct voice over the crowds noise.

My head shot up and I turned to see my beautiful Jacob laughing with Seth, but with a horrid feeling in my stomach I noticed he wasn't alone.

My heart dropped.

There, standing next to him, was Bella Swan.

His arm was around her waist and I couldn't help but notice how perfect these to beautiful people looked together.

Pain, that's all I knew. It spread through my fingers all down to my toes. I could feel my scalp ache as my heart pounded acid through my veins. Tears welled in my eyes and I must have made some strangled noise because suddenly I was in Leah's arms and she was rocking me back and forth slowly, whispering soothing words in my ear.

I could feel him looking at me, his gaze burning into the side of my head. The strong cord connecting our hearts wavered and I knew in that moment that Jacob did not want me.

He wanted Bella.

The stupid wolf in him had chosen me. I wanted to scream at the wolf, yell at him that he should have chosen Bella because Jacob obviously wanted her more. But I remembered how your imprint was supposed to be your soul mate. Why wouldn't Jacob accept it?

Could he really not stand the fact that we might be meant for each other?

Was being with me really that repulsive?

My heart burned with the intensity of a thousand matches and I tried desperately to push all the pain away.

Closing my eyes I pictured a black ominous box in my mind, and with a forceful shove I pushed all the unwanted emotions and pain inside, before shutting it with a click.

Opening my eyes once more I could feel the physical change as it set back in. Like a pair of skinny jeans it hugged me close, a suit of armor you could say.

My eyes were guarded and dull. My face was void of any feeling, the skin smooth and calm. My mask had slipped back onto my face effortlessly and I slid off Leah's lap with an appreciative nod. She stared at me with concern, but I simply looked into the fire.

I could feel his eyes on me still, but I didn't look at him. Billy's voice painted magical pictures of the legends in my mind, and I gratefully allowed myself the distraction.

But as I stared into the flames I knew I had to decide my next plan of action.

It was obvious Jake's feelings for me had purely sprouted from the wolf in him. His natural course would be Bella. The girl he wanted was Bella, it had always been.

My heart burned and convulsed at the thought but I knew what I had to do.

I had to leave him alone.

Jake didn't want this, and I loved him too much to stand in his way.

"_I need time" _His words rang in my head, but I couldn't help but feel that no amount of time would be good enough. Maybe eventually Jacob would succumb to the imprint, but he wouldn't want it. It would be forced.

I was destined to a future of heartbreak, the only thing left to do was accept the ever present pain.

Slowly, I lifted my eyes from the fire and met Jake's solemn ones from across the circle.

His expression turned shocked at the look of dead resignation in my eyes, but I simply switched my gaze to the drowsy girl leaning on his shoulder. Casting a side glance to Leah I whispered "I don't feel so hot, I'm going to walk home. Fresh air will do me good."

She watched me worriedly before slowly nodding, and with that I abruptly stood. Which startled more then a few people out of the trance the legends had put them in, even Billy cut off mid sentence.

I tipped my head apologetically and barely caught the look of reserved understanding in Black senior's eyes before sweeping away from the fire and into the forest.

**Woah, so it's turning sad again. I can't help it, I like sad things. **

**Anyways I hope you like, Please review and tell me what you think. **

**I love you all and Thank you profusely for the read. **

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	20. Chapter 20

**Heya friends, So I have some questions to answer: **

**PLEASEREAD! **

**Yes Bella is with Edward at this moment, I realize I put two bon fires where Bella was there I'm sorry If it's not exact to the story, please just bare with me (:**

**At this moment in the story it's before graduation, and It was at Bellas grad party that the wolves got involved with the fight against Victoria, so Victoria is out there at this point. **

**Don't worry Jacob will open his eyes and realize Amber is perfect, but there will be a little more of a struggle on his part, I love happy endings though, so don't give up on me (: **

**I'm really starting to not like the beginning chapters so much, I wrote those two years ago and they suck, so I apologize for the shitty first six chapters haha **

**The story will continue and Amber will reach a breaking point. That will be harsh, so it's going to become dark. Just a fair warning, If you don't like that, then quit now. **

**I'm really connected to this story and Amber, I'm making it sad because sad things are my favorite and they're very emotional which I like. **

**The story isn't going to be perfectly matched with the books but I'll try my best. **

**THANKYOU sooosooo much for the reviews and sweet words. I really do appreciate every single one, they make my night so thankyou. **

**MERRYCHRISTMAS!**

A month and a half passed since the bon fire and I had fallen easily into my numb state once again.

The pack was accepting towards me and I spent most afternoons meeting up with Kim after school then driving to Emily's. She'd fix us a snack then we'd power through homework and talk listlessly about noncommittal things. I liked it, the sense of order was kind to me and with Emily's crazy baking obsession she had made it her new goal to get me back to a healthy weight. But because of my lack of appetite, she was finding it more difficult then she first thought it would be. Never the less, she didn't give up on me. Neither of them did, even though they could both see I was shutting myself out from the world, they would pull me out of the shadows on those afternoons and we would laugh as if none of this had ever happened.

Leah came and went, but on the rare occasion that she'd join our little get together after school, she was always witty and made everyone crack up with her jokes and stories. I found a new appreciation for these wolf girls, they were holding me together for the time being.

The whole pack was very sweet in actuality. Brady and Collin were only thirteen along with Seth and I found myself loving them like little brothers. They were so young, it shattered me to see them put in positions they shouldn't have to be in until years down the line. Embry and Quil were still their goofy selves, but they could also see my lack of _being there. _In a sense, I had hidden myself under layer upon layer of thick fabric in hopes for the pain to numb and fall away.

I had started patrols just last week, mine of course didn't run as late as some of the other wolves but I still ran perimeter and for the most part stayed in my own head. I had found that I could enter the pack's link as I wished, but they couldn't read my thoughts, I could only hear theirs. I would have to speak out loud if I wanted to communicate with them.

Sam had begun to teach me how to fight against Jacob's wishes. And may I say that with only a couple weeks worth of training, I was beginning to catch on rather quickly. I had taken down Quil once, and almost beat Embry. The younger boys were easy. Paul had even volunteered to mock fight me, which he of course won. My body was falling into the routine, I could feel myself adjusting to the change and I could now run as fast as Leah and punch trees in half just like the other wolves.

I felt accepted in the pack, and it felt good.

Jacob was a different story though. We avoided each other like a disease. I had seen in Quil's head (albeit, by accident) that he was spending quite a bit of time with Bella Swan. While on patrol, pictures of her in his garage or walking down the beach as they laughed, floated into my mind. Of course the boys never meant to think it, as I'm sure, Jake never meant to think it either. But with the connection of minds, every single thing was passed down the line and there was really no way to hide it.

That's how I heard of the kiss.

Oh yes, Jacob had finally admitted his feelings for dear Isabella, and granted her with a full out mouth to mouth session. Lucky for me she popped him right in the face. Unlucky for me he didn't get the memo.

Oh, I'm sure it would have hurt had I not locked away my heart. But I was all blackness, the pain numbed by a morphine all my own.

I didn't look upon Jakes beautiful face anymore. I couldn't bring myself too. It could be dangerous. The careful stitches of armor around my heart could break by just one look, one touch.

I wouldn't allow it.

I became sparse in Jacob's life, trying desperately to give him all the space and time he needed. I wanted him to be happy, and if he found that solace in Bella Swan then damn my own feelings.

Birds chirped over my head as I came back to reality. I was sitting on Emily's back porch, the warm June air swirling around me. School was coming to a close and most of the Senior's graduated last weekend. (I don't know how your high school does it, but the seniors graduate earlier then others in mine)

I rubbed the white lace of my spring dress between my fingertips as I stared absently into the woods to my left. A gentle breeze lifted my hair sliding it across my face. With my heightened senses, I caught a whiff of my strawberry shampoo on the wind.

"Amber dear, lunch is ready!" Emily's sweet voice drifted to me from the open window of the kitchen.

"Be right there!" I called back, in my smooth emotionless tone.

It was June first, a lovely Saturday afternoon, and I could hear Claire and Quil from my seat on the porch, giggling and whispering as Claire placed flowers in Quil's hair.

Slowly, I stood and wandered into the humble home of Sam Uley and Emily Young. Kim wasn't here today, she had a date with Jared and Jake had said something to Sam about crashing Bella's graduation party. Though, that was tonight and it was still only one thirty in the afternoon. I assumed he would take Embry and Quil with him, who a couple of weeks ago, promised to keep him safe for me. Even though we weren't speaking, I worried nonstop for the boy who stole my heart.

Slipping into the kitchen, I smiled slightly at Emily as she bustled around, slapping Brady's fingers with a wooden spoon as he tried to steal a steaming cookie from the tray.

Plopping down at the small breakfast table, I nodded a thanks to Emily as she placed a plate of hot chicken fajitas in front of me. Their delicious aroma wafted into my nose and I licked my lips before taking a cautious bite. My stomach wanted to hurl the food out, it wasn't used to such an intrusion. But with one stern look from Emily I stuffed the rest in and chewed quickly, if only to appease her. Brady sat down next to me and started on his own plate, talking to me around a mouthful of food.

"So guess what!" he didn't wait for me to guess and shoved another tortilla filled with scrumptious delicacies in his mouth and began talking again "That stupid red headed leech that's been around? We almost caught it last night Amber!"

I raised my eyebrows in a semi-interested manor.

"Well I mean, you weren't on patrol, and uh neither was I… but Jared told me that him, Paul, and Jacob saw her running through the trees! They almost snagged her! But she jumped the border before we could grab her." Brady finished dejectedly.

I smiled softly at him "Well maybe next time you'll be there Brady, and then you can take her down." He grinned brightly up at me, eyes shinning with a light only a child can carry.

"You think I can?" He asked excitedly I nodded before scruffing up his hair and depositing my plate in the sink. Wandering towards the living room I landed heavily on the couch next to Leah. She flipped through a couple channels before settling on Dr. Phil and we both watched with lazy interest as he gave an intervention to a stubborn druggy with a lot of piercings.

At some point Sam, Kim, Jared, Seth, Collin, and Paul had shown up planting themselves on various surfaces.

Claire danced around the room, asking to paint Paul's nails and throwing a doll at him when he said no.

It was no longer light out, I realized as I stole my zombie like gaze from the television and too the window. The sun had set an hour ago it seemed as I looked to the clock on the wall, which read the time as 7:32pm.

Quil, Jake, and Embry must all have gone to the party.

Biting my lip I tried to watch the tv which was now stopped on a game of Hockey. I had called my dad earlier and he said he had late shift at the hospital, so there really wasn't a reason to get home. Though, things had been looking up with daddy dearest lately. He came home two days out of the week and we ate dinner together. It wasn't much, but it was enough to set my trembling heart at peace for a few hours. He had even brought down mom's piano from the attic and asked me to play for him once or twice.

Emily had just bought take out Chinese, because she was tired. Which resulted in a large quantity of empty boxes lying precariously around the room and unknown substances smeared across tables. Claire had somehow managed to squirt a packet of sweet and sour sauce in the eye of dear Jared. Screaming, he began running around the room like a chicken with his head cut off. Hopping up and down he made swiping motions towards his face before dropping and rolling across the ground in a very child like fashion.

Which of course mad me, Leah, and Kim fall into a fit of giggles.

"Oh Jared" Gasped Kim, clutching her sides "Stop being such a baby and go wash it out" She cackled again.

Pouting Jared stomped out of the room and to the Kitchen, there was a splash of water and then he stumbled out again, his face and shirt drenched. His left eye was blood shot, the skin around it an angry red.

Leah, who tried desperately to contain her giggles, toppled off the couch and landed on Seth, who, in turn, shrieked. Causing juice to swish out of the cup in his hand and land all over poor Paul. Paul's face pinched up with rage and narrowed in on Seth, who let out an odd strangled noise and ran to hide behind Emily in the kitchen.

Which of course had the whole house shaking with laughter.

That laughter abruptly died when the front door burst open.

Jacob walked in flanked by Quil and Embry. He looked gorgeous as always as he sauntered into the room, eyes sweeping over the pack.

The beautiful chocolate iris's lingered on me for a moment longer, taking in my flushed cheeks and eyes still dancing with amusement, which quickly died upon seeing him.

An emotion I couldn't understand dominated his face for a split second and then it was gone.

Maybe a trick of the light?

"Sam?" Jacob's rich voice silenced any remaining giggles.

The man in question walked out of the kitchen and raised an eyebrow "Yup?" he asked, popping the 'P' which brought the faintest of smiles to my lips.

"Tonight at Bella's I talked to one of the leeches. Apparently there's a vamp that's trying to assemble an army of sorts. They think it might be the red headed one we've been chasing."

"What?" Sam hissed, his eyes quickly switching from Jake to Emily in worry for her safety.

Jake sighed and began pacing across the floor "They think that whoever is making the army is after Bells, and I want to help." He ran a hand through his hair "What I'm saying is, there's going to be over thirty vampires coming to our area and I don't think we can leave the Cullen's to take care of this issue on their own. Besides, it's so close to home, it'd be dangerous for our people if we just let this happen without helping to rid of these disgusting creatures." His nose scrunched up as if he smelt something bad, I rolled my eyes.

Surprisingly, to me, the leeches didn't smell that awful. Just a little sweet compared to the delicious earthy spice injected scents of the pack.

"And at least we'll get to kill some leeches." Jake muttered looking up to meet Sam's eyes.

The room was silent and everyone looked to Sam. The two alphas seemed to be communicating something none of us could ever understand, and after a few long moments Sam slowly nodded.

"So, you want us to fight on the same side as the Cullen's?" Asked Collin, scratching the back of his head in confusion.

"Yes" Sam said turning to face the rest of the pack "We are going to go into battle with the Cullen's."

He sighed and pulled Emily close to him, "We will fight as comrades. Do you understand?" It wasn't a question I realized, but a statement. We were expected to follow him. There was no other choice.

There were a few grumbles and sneers, but for the most part everyone nodded.

Jake spoke up again "They want us to meet them, next week on Friday. They'll show us how to fight the leeches." He finished with a roll of his eyes as if too say _"Like we don't already know how" _A few snickers circulated around the room but Sam simply nodded.

"Fine, tell them we'll be there Jake, the _whole _pack will be there."

Jacob stiffened and his eyes met mine for a split second before whirling back to Sam's.

"No" He growled and I sighed.

And then I was suddenly angry. Because ya know what? My life fucking sucks.

I love that freaking boy to death and how does he repay me?

He puts me through hell, then tries to boss me around.

Well this is where it stops.

I handed Claire, who had managed to crawl into my lap off to Emily before standing up and walking slowly over to Jake.

The room was thick with tension as I put myself directly in his line of sight, even as he looked everywhere but me.

"Damnit Jake!" I hissed "Fucking look at me!" Sam made a noise at my choice of words but I ignored him.

Jake's beautiful eyes met mine and I could see such deep pain in them it made me stumble back, but then it was gone. His eyes now shadowed by a cool arrogance that I absolutely hated.

"You can't boss me around anymore Jacob Black." I growled coming back to my senses and thrusting a finger into his chest "Do you see what you've done to me? I hate it! I hate all of this! I love you, more then my own life, but I'm trying so fucking hard and-" I broke off, looking away from him to collect myself.

"You didn't choose me Jake, and I'm trying to respect that. But I am part of this pack and I refuse to let you take that from me!" Letting out a breath I looked down at my bare feet. Dirt coated the pale skin from when Claire and I had chased a butterfly earlier today.

"Jake I know you want to protect me, it's the imprint, I-I know." I murmured "But let's not pretend like you care otherwise." My voice dropped to a whisper.

The sound of something smashing made my head snap up.

A glass cup.

Jake had grabbed it off the coffee table and hurled it at the opposite wall, between the heads of Seth and Paul. Glass glittered the ground and I was vaguely aware of Emily running to get a broom.

"How dare you." He snarled "Of course I give a damn about you Amber and it's not just the fucking imprint!"

I tried desperately to squash the hope that threatened to bloom in my chest as my eyes searched his.

I sighed. "Jake, i-it is, it's only the imprint. It's making you." I said softly, in a tone of defeat. Shaking my head I stumbled back as Jacob suddenly advanced on me. He stalked forward until my back slammed against the wall. I saw Brady take a step towards me, but Sam caught his arm. He seemed to be saying that this was between Jake and me.

Only Jake and me.

He grabbed my chin forcefully making me look up to meet his eyes. I couldn't help the butterflies that unleashed in my stomach and the way my heart doubled speed. The mocking smirk on his face told me he could hear it, but just as quickly as it was there, it was gone. Replaced by an expression so full of sorrow it brought tears to my eyes.

He dropped his fingers and instead pulled me into a tight embrace. I gasped, shocked but welcomed the warmth that only Jacob could bring me.

"I'm sorry." He murmured, his voice muffled by my hair. He seemed to be inhaling my scent. "I hate what I've done to you- God Amber I- I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry." His voice was earnest and chocked with unshed tears.

"Jacob please" I sobbed softly "Don't give me any false hope."

"There is hope Amber." He growled fiercely pulling back to look into my eyes, but then his voice grew soft again as he brushed his lips over my forehead "I don't know what to do to fix this Amber, but Bella and I- it's just- I can't just leave her." His eyes pleaded with me to understand and I tried to see it from his perspective.

It was all just a mess. Everything was.

I wanted to be the only girl Jacob ever loved, but I understood. He loved us both. Still, I wanted him to choose.

And I wanted him to choose me.

Slowly I nodded looking away from him "You need time" I murmured, "I know."

"Please Amber, just please promise me." I looked away from the worried faces of my pack mates to meet his anxious gaze once again. "Promise me you'll wait for me."

His voice was so full of an emotion I couldn't quite put my finger on, but it made my heart triple speed and my breath become shallow. And despite the protest's of my mind, I closed my eyes and let my heart speak for once.

"Yes Jacob, I promise."

**Awesome (: So tell me what you think. I hope you likkkeee! Review Review Review Por favor! That would be much appreciated, and the more reviews I get the quicker I update! **

**Love you! **

**Thanks for the read! **


	21. Chapter 21

**Alright ladies and gentlemen, heres the next chappy! I don't own Twilight. **

**Oh and just a little A/N here, uhm, if you don't like the story, don't freakin read it. I don't need you to tell me you don't like it, just stop reading it. That's all. **

**On a brighter note, thankyou for all the reviews! **

**READDDD! : Don't worry, I'm going to make Jake grovel and there will be a new toy entering Amber's life like you guys want ;D It's alllll in my master plan, but some of it doesn't come till later so you'll have to be patient ;D LOVEYOU!**

Tendrils of sunlight slipped between a gap in the curtains of my room, effectively waking me from my precious sleep. Stretching I rolled out of bed and padded to the bathroom.

There's nothing like a scorching shower to wake you up for school.

Oh yes, today is the long awaited Friday, most of my peers will be having slumber parties and getting drunk. But not I, no I'll be at a meeting where leeches are going to teach me how to fight other leeches in order for us to save their precious human.

Joy.

Don't get me wrong. I don't really have anything against Bella. I mean you can't help who falls in love with you. I just wish she wasn't so freaking perfect, then I could find a reason to dislike her, but she seems quite sweet and from what I've heard she's a hard working and down to earth. Maybe we could have been friends if the circumstances were different.

Heaving myself out of the shower I wrapped a fluffy towel around my body and dried off. Then I slipped into my under clothes before rummaging through my closet.

I decided on a pair of light wash jean shorts and a pink baby doll top with a thin knitted white sweater thrown over top. Wandering into my bathroom I slipped on my bracelet and pulled my curls up into a messy ponytail. Quickly applying some light make up I slipped on my flip-flops.

A little spritz of vanilla perfume and I was done. Grabbing my messenger bag off the hook, I jumped down the stairs two at a time.

My dad was actually there for breakfast and we ate silently, him eggs and bacon and me a piece of toast. Then kissing his cheek I scooped up my keys and trudged to my car.

I'm not going to lie. I'm a little excited for this leech meeting tonight. I want to meet the Cullen's, everyone was always talking about them. They seemed almost interesting. Granted I already had a little run in with Dr. Cullen, but meeting the whole family of vamps would be cool, exciting even.

My classes passed quickly and I had gotten all my teachers to move me back to my old seats, near the pack members. We talked in hushed tones about tonight, seems I'm not the only one a little intrigued.

During lunch I sat with most of the pack too, Jared, Kim, Quil, Embry, Jake, and Paul served as some serious entertainment.

Jacob and I were still on awkward terms but we spoke some.

When the final bell _finally _rang I sprang form my seat and sprinted down the rapidly crowding hallway. Stopping at my locker, I continued out the front doors and into the fresh air of June in La Push. Taking a deep breath I caught Kim's eye from across the parking lot and stumbled my way over, but was intercepted by a boy I vaguely recognized.

He was tall, not as tall as Jake, but taller then me, with dark brown curly hair and bright honey colored eyes. His skin was smooth and tanned, stretching over lean muscles, which rippled as he moved towards me.

Al in all he was cute, super cute.

"Hey Amber." The boy flashed me a winning smile "I'm Blake, I'm the new kid in your math class"

Oh! That's right, he had been introduced today, moved from Vermont. Blake Jeffries.

"Hi" I murmured shyly, peering over his shoulder to see Kim looking worriedly to the right, following her gaze I was met with a seething Jacob Black.

"So" He said, looking down bashfully "I know I'm new to area and stuff, but I hear that this diner near my house has really good burgers and uh I was just wondering if you wanted to go with me to try them, tonight." He was blushing as he kept staring at his shoes and I smiled.

Absolutely adorable.

"Oh I'd love too Blake!" His whole face brightened and his eyes shot up to meet mine.

The sound of metal being crushed made me look over to see Quil with a hand on Jake's shoulder and prying Jake's hand off the mangled door handle of his beloved Rabbit.

"But I can't tonight, I have to go to dinner with one of my neighbors, I'm sorry. Do you think we could go another time? I'll give you my number?" Blake nodded eagerly and I quickly scribbled down my cell phone and handed it to him.

Blake grinned "Thanks! I'll call you!" He all but shouted before running in the other direction.

Okay so I didn't know the guy, but he seemed sweet and was definitely cute. Why not go on a harmless date with him? I deserved to go have fun with a boy who wasn't constantly keeping me guessing. Maybe he could get my mind off the ever infuriating, Jacob Black.

Wincing I chanced a glance back to where Jake had been standing near his car, but he wasn't there anymore. Searching the parking lot, I looked for Kim.

She was still standing by Jared's car with Quil, Embry, and Jake.

"Hey!" She sang giving me a hug as I walked up.

"Hey Kim" I smiled and Kim leaned up against Jared's car as Quil and Jared talked while Jacob glared at me. His hands were shaking, but he seemed calmer then a few minutes ago.

"I wish I could go with you guys tonight." Kim sighed slumping her shoulders with a pout.

I giggled at the child like stance and she peered up at me through dark lashes curiously.

"You're silly Kim, It's probably going to be super boring." I reasoned with her.

"Then why don't you stay home?" Jacob's rich voice filled my ears and I whirled around. He was standing right behind me, his ebony hair obscuring his eyes from my view.

I frowned "Not a chance Jake."

He glowered before stomping to his Rabbit and peeling away.

Smirking triumphantly I kissed Kim's cheek and waved to the boys before going to my own car and driving home.

The sun was hidden behind a thick blanket of clouds, but some of its warmth filtered through, making my day a tiny bit brighter. I knew though, that when the sun went down it would be freezing again. So I had to do a quick wardrobe change before heading to Sam and Emily's.

The house was empty when I arrived and walking into the kitchen I threw the keys on the counter and ran up the stairs.

Searching through my closet I found a pair of dark wash skinny jeans and a thick navy blue slouchy sweater, under the sweater I shimmied into a simple grey T. Putting on the outfit I stuffed my feet into a pair of scuffed black army boots.

In the bathroom I pulled my hair out of its mess before pulling it back again in a strict ponytail with no fly aways. I knew I probably wouldn't be aloud to spar with the leeches, but if the chance arose I wanted to be able to see my opponent.

Approving of my appearance, I wandered back down the stairs and scribbled a quick explanation to my dad. Then I started on the quick journey to Emily's.

The gravel was loud as I pulled up their driveway and I could already see a couple of the packs head's bobbing in the house through the window. Even as I watched Leah ran out of the forest in a mucky worn yellow sundress.

Parking the car, I hopped out and smiled at Leah who grinned back and joined me in walking up the porch steps.

The door was thrown open though, before I could even touch the handle, and a shrieking Brady launched himself at my stomach.

I caught him at the last second and the momentum caused me to knock back straight into Leah. This of course made her topple over and we all landed in a painful heap at the bottom of the porch.

Groaning I shoved Brady off of me and glared at him.

"What the hell was that you bum?" I snapped, dusting off my jeans and helping Leah stand up.

"It's going to get me!" cried Brady. Rolling my eyes, I held out my hand for him to take and he gratefully let me help him off the ground.

Turning I could hear laughter in the house and with a feral growl I stomped back up the stairs and slammed open the door.

"Paul, do you have a death wish?" I snarled causing the older boy to grin. "What the hell did you do to Brady?"

"Look!" Collin's voice demanded and I turned to see him pointing at the TV, which just so happened to be playing Paranormal Activity. Collin cowered back into the couch while Paul snickered.

"You idiot" I snapped, shutting off the television and rounding on him. "You seem to have forgotten that they're still only thirteen, despite their physical appearances they're still just kids!"

Brady muttered something about being a man and I snorted.

Paul rolled his eyes and huffed in a very child like manor. "Well they said they wanted to watch it, so I let them."

I turned to meet Collin and Brady's slightly guilty expressions "But he said it wasn't scary!" Whined Collin

Rolling my eyes I threw my hand up in frustration before wandering into the kitchen to grab a snack. Shining an apple on my shirt I nibbled slightly on its smooth flesh before turning to look out one of the windows.

I always loved the forest, even as a little girl. Jake, Quil, Embry, and I would all pretend we were mighty explorers and march into our back yards with walking sticks and bagged lunches.

We'd spend hours out there in the forest, laughing and running through the foliage. Ever since we watched the movie, Tarzan, Jake was obsessed. He of course would play the role of the jungle king himself, while I was always Jane. Embry and Quil were our pet apes. It was fantastic. And now, thinking back on it, I couldn't help but miss those frolicking days with a hollow ache. We were free back then, with no feelings of love or jealousy to keep us at arms length. Our friendship was thick and life was good, but now everything was strained.

I wasn't sure how much of this I could take.

I had been looking, the past few weeks, at high schools down New York. My great aunt lived in the city, and though she was slightly deranged, she had offered more then not for me to come stay with her. Maybe it would do me some good to get away for my senior year, I could always come back if I didn't like it.

But I mean the thing is, how fucking dumb is this whole situation? I had mulled over all the words Jake and I had spoken to each other in the past months, and this was killing me. He loved Bella, I got that, but what about me? Did he honestly think he would go off and have his fun with Bella Swan then when she left, like we all know she would, he'd come running back to me?

Don't get me wrong, I love the boy more then air, but this has to stop somewhere. I had promised to wait for him, but I was sure I wasn't going to make this easy. The pain I feel, I want him to feel. I want him to know exactly what kind of agony he put me through.

And more then anything, I wanted him to pick me first.

But he didn't, and I would always be second to dear Isabella Swan.

I could feel the transition happening in me, the sadness was slowly hardening into something different, something akin to fury.

"At least you're eating." The rich voice startled me and I whirled around.

Ah, speak of the devil.

Of course there's Jacob Black, in all his glory, leaning up against the doorframe with that infuriatingly sexy smirk.

I tried to ignore the way my heart sped up.

Rolling my eyes I threw the core of my apple in the trashcan and rounded my glare on him "Don't pretend like you care what I do Jake."

His eyes narrowed and one second I'm standing in the middle of the kitchen, next second I'm backed up against the sink, trapped in the arms of this sexy bastard.

"Of course I care Amber, why ever would you say I didn't?" His voice is soft and smooth, his breath tickling my ear and all thoughts rush from my head.

Oh God, he's too close, I can't think when he's that close!

"G-Get off me Jake." I tried to make my voice sound stern, but only succeeded in making him chuckle.

"I saw you today after school" He growled his eyes searching mine "You gave that _boy_ your number?" He hissed. I could feel him begin to shake on top of me. Sighing I put a soothing hand on his cheek.

After he calmed a little I simply nodded to answer his question before resuming my struggle to get out of the prison his arms had trapped me in.

His chest rumbled with a barely contained snarl "You don't even know him! He could be a rapist or a murderer and you just gave away your number to him like it was nothing!"

Rolling my eyes I remembered Blake's bright eyes and innocent smile. "Oh please, I doubt he's any of those things. Besides I can take care of myself, and who knows maybe Blake and I will really hit it off. I can do whatever I want Jacob Black. You have no control over who I da-"

But my speech was cut short because Jacob was suddenly kissing me and, after a moment, I was kissing him back. Roughly his lips danced with mine and I found I couldn't stop him even if I wanted too. My mind had completely shut off as he did that _thing _with his tongue and I swear I could have died happy. My fingers tangled into his deliciously soft hair while his hands dug into my hips. My heart beat ten thousand miles a minute and I don't know how long we stayed like that before he slowly pulled back and stared at me with dark eyes.

"When you're with him, you'll be thinking of me."

His mouth was suddenly on my neck, making my head fall back in pure pleasure.

"He can't make your heart beat like I can, can't make you tremble, can't make you moan." As if on cue I mewed softly, his name leaving my lips in a breathy whisper.

He continued to press open-mouthed kisses down the arch of my neck before stopping at my pulse point. "You can't even want him properly, because you crave for me body and soul, I'm the only one who can soothe that ache Amber." Smirking at the feel of my fluttering heart, he bit into the soft flesh, making me cry out as his teeth scraped my skin. Swirling his cool tongue over the wounded area, he immediately soothed the sting.

Finally pulling away he smirked at my frazzled state.

"Mine." He murmured and then kissed me tenderly on the lips once more.

He exited the kitchen only moments later but I still stood slumped next to the sink.

My whole body trembling, aching for more of him.

I hated it, hated how he could do that too me, most of all I hated how he was right.

Was it like that for him and Bella? Did he think of me when he was with her?

Groaning I slid a hand down my ponytail before standing up straight and marching out of the kitchen.

How dare he. He knew what power he had over me, knew how he would effect me and he abused it! So many feelings raged inside of me, I didn't even know where to start.

Trudging into the living room I was met with Kim, Emily, and Leah who gave me a knowing look. Of course, I realized, if she was in here she could hear us, heck the whole pack probably did.

Blushing furiously I suddenly found my boots to be very interesting.

"Love the outfit" Emily winked and couldn't help but send her a sweet smile.

"Come on, they all went to change in the forest, I was waiting for you." Leah said standing up and walking towards the door.

"Right" I murmured following her, Emily shouted a "Be safe!" To which we both rolled our eyes, waving our hands nonchalantly over our shoulders.

We walked towards the forest and Leah turned to raise a questioning eyebrow at me, effectively re-heating the fading blush on my cheeks.

"Don't even ask." I muttered and she laughed before running behind a tree to change.

When Leah's slim silvery wolf sauntered out from behind the trees I grinned and we both shot off like rockets into the forest.

Dodging a branch I let out a breath before retreating to that space in my mind. The way I saw it, it was like a door. The door was labeled 'Pack' and it was locked, but as soon as I unlocked it, their thoughts came flooding in. So with a little caution I unlocked the door and was bombarded with their voices.

Pictures of trees whizzing by in different perspectives filled my mind, and the excited voices of my pack clogged my ears as we all followed a single black wolf.

Sam knew the designated area of meeting, and Jacob was close behind him I could see it from Quil's eyes who was closest to the pair.

Focusing solely on Leah, her thoughts were unveiled from the mass of voices and I could hear her clearly.

"_Lets race." _

With a hysterical laugh I shot off through the trees, moving so fast the world around me was a blur. I could see Leah from my peripheral vision. She was running along side me, a wolfish smile on her pretty face.

We zoomed under branches and over logs, the leaves swished as we passed them. The only sound was our feet pounding into the damp earth.

With a clear glimpse of the area we were supposed to arrive at, plucked from our alphas head, Leah and I quickly surpassed Sam and Jake and continued running.

I could see the meadow through the trees. But out of the corner of my eye Leah skidded to a halt, her eyes wide and turned to me with fright. But it was to late for me. I couldn't slow down, so I simply ran right into the clearing. Sliding across the wet grass I finally came to a stop.

Breathing heavily I noticed a sweet smell that permeated around the green field, a smell that I knew…

Looking up I met seven curious pairs of golden eyes and one very familiar pair of brown ones.

"Oh, hey…"

**Woo! Thanks again for the awesome reviews! Don't worry, I haave a plan (: Tell me whatcha think! Thanks for the read! Loe vyou!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Well wasn't that fun. Who had a awesome winter break? I DID! Disney world is magical and warm. I'm in love. **

**Thanks for the reviews loves! I can never tell you how much I appreciate and love them. They really keep me going, thanks for all the support! **

**OKAY! Common question : Did Jake mark Amber? **

**Answer: Yes, he did indeed. But she doesn't know it, only the wolves and super natural beings can smell his mark on her and recognize it. And Jacob didn't even really know he was doing it, it was his instinct. His wolf called for him to mark her as his and he did. Don't worry, It will show up again in the story and I will explain. **

**Thanks! **

**I don't own Twilight. **

"_Oh, hey…" _

"Amber Davis, correct?" A musical voice asked me.

Looking to the owner of the melodic tone I recognized Dr. Carlisle Cullen.

"Uh, yeah hey there Doc. Well isn't this a fun little reunion, I think I'll just head back…" I murmured taking a few cautious steps back towards the forest where I could hear Leah pacing worriedly.

"What are you?" Bluntly asked a tall bear like vampire, his hair curling down to his ears and his cheeky smile revealing cute dimples.

"She is a hybrid of sorts Emmet. She was given some of the spirit magic from her mate." The bronze haired boy answered, turning his knowing gaze to the pinkish purple mark left by Jacob's teeth on my neck.

Bushing I pulled my sweater tighter, obscuring his view of the bite.

"Fascinating" murmured Dr. Cullen at the same time Bella blurted "Who's her mate?"

I watched her for a moment with a measured gaze. Her eyes flickered nervously, never meeting mine.

"Bella I don't think-" but I cut Bronze boy off, "Jacob." I said simply staring straight at her. "My mate is Jacob Black. He imprinted on me."

Her mouth fell open in surprise at her eyes finally raised to meet mine with a disbelieving expression.

"No, he told me he hadn't imprinted, you're lying!" I raised a single eyebrow, but couldn't help but flinch slightly at the hurt that seeped through the cracks in my armor.

He had lied?

Was he that ashamed of having me as a mate?

As if on cue Jacob's russet wolf sprung out of the trees behind me and positioned himself between the leeches and I.

"Jacob?" Questioned Bella in a quivering voice.

He growled lowly and rolled his big brown eyes to meet mine. I closed the door to the packs thoughts, I didn't want to hear Jake's stupid, beautiful, dumb, gorgeous, annoying voice/thoughts right now.

"Oops looks like the cats out of the bag Jake, or should I say wolf." I laughed humorlessly and rolled my eyes "I didn't know you lied to darling Bella about the fact that we're soul mates!" I gasped in mock horror before skipping around him and towards the vampires.

Jacob was obviously feeling over protective at the moment, a feeling that no doubt sprouted from his forced imprint on myself. I pushed the pain that blossomed in my heart away and angrily and decided to push my luck.

Let's have some fun.

"Sorry Bells" I sang twirling away from Jake as he snapped his jaws in a warning at me "I didn't know Jacob was too ashamed to tell you about little old me, but then again, I'm wondering why you even care? You have your mate don't you?" My voice turned genuinely curious towards the end and I stopped my random spins to meet her anxious stare.

She clung to Edwards arm and watched me warily "Yes" She murmured, "I have Edward, I love him. I didn't know Jake had imprinted, he told me he never did." My face fell slightly and I vaguely heard the packs whines and growls for me to return to them.

I could feel Jake's burning gaze on my face, watching me assess this new slice of information. I carefully positioned my mask before smiling brightly and turning away from Isabella, instead I looked at the tree line above all their heads.

The shuffling of feet, growls, snorts, whines, and deep breathes of all the super natural beings in the clearing faded as I let my mind wander for a moment. I rummaged carefully in the memory box of my brain before selecting a specific one and bringing it to the surface.

"_Jacob?" whispered a young girl. She was stumbling through the dark forest, her hair plastered to her tear streaked face in a messy heap of curls. She wobbled along the root ridden pathway that led her to the familiar home of her best friend. _

_The pink dress she wore was caked in mud and her white frilly socks were blackened with the disgusting substance, no shoes adorned her feet. _

_She managed to exit the forest and walked up to the home she knew to be Jacob Blacks. It was nighttime, and she hoped she wasn't waking them. The light from the TV flickered through the window as she bumbled up the steps to the front door, her little shaking fingers tapping out a random tune on the wood. _

_The door was wrenched open by a boy about her age, his mass of black locks fell into his chocolate eyes and she noticed he was wearing a bright yellow shirt with an unidentifiable stain down the front. Sobs escaped her lithe form and she flung herself uncaringly at him. _

"_Jacob! Jacob! My mommy Jacob, they took her! The angels! And I want her back! Please! P-p-please Jake bring my mommy back!" She wailed and stuttered. _

_Little Jacob caught her in his arms, his eyes going wide at her words and the amount of pain behind them. Immediately a tall girl followed by a similar sister rushed into the room. They had overheard the young girls cries and gently pried her off the little boy only to lay her on the couch and cover her with a thick blanket. _

"_Jake go get dad, Rachel get some tea" Ordered Rebecca and the two siblings left quickly to follow the elders instructions. _

_Rebecca hummed quietly like her mother used to as she washed the little girls face with a warm washcloth. She understood the pain of this child, though she was only thirteen, she had felt the same agony only a year before. _

_Jacob rushed in with their father close on his heels. Rolling in his wheel chair, Billy Black pulled up to the couch's side to peer at the tiny girl swallowed by the blankets. _

_Jacob hopped onto the couch and pulled little Amber into his arms protectively, rocking her, he held her close and she curled gratefully into him. _

"_Please, my mommy. Please Jakey I want my mommy." She hiccupped shaking and pressing her face tightly into the soft cotton of his shirt. _

_Rachel returned and sat close to Amber's feet, lifting the cup of herbal tea to the little girls pouting lips she let her take a small sip. The taste and smell immediately soothed the girl and she fisted Jake's shirt in her hands before closing her eyes in exhaustion. _

_Billy Black lifted a leathery hand and slid it through Amber's tangled hair in a calming way, his eyes blinking back tears of his own. _

_He opened his mouth and began to sing, it was an old tribal song not heard very often now a days, but the magical rumble of his voice put the young girl at ease and her tight muscles relaxed, yet she still clung to Jacob. _

_Hours later Billy had fallen asleep in the old armchair by the window while Rachel and Rebecca pulled out sleeping bags and slept on the floor next to the couch. _

_The little boy and girl still lay wrapped around each other in the blankets. His eyes were closed but hers stared unseeingly up at the ceiling. _

"_Jacob?" whispered the little girl in a hoarse worn voice. _

"_Hmm?" the boy replied, opening his eyes to groggily focus on her pale face. _

"_My mommy, she said one day I'd find my true love and he would save me from my sadness, like the princess in that story we watched with Rachel last week. You'll be my true love right Jake?" Asked the innocent little girl, staring up at the boy with wide eyes. _

"_Of course" Said the boy leaning up on his elbow to stare down at her. _

"_Forever right? You won't ever leave like mommy? And you'll be mine right Jakey?" Her lip quivered and she turned to search his face with glassy eyes. _

"_Forever and ever Amber." Declared the boy before snuggling back down in the couch and pulling her into his side. _

_She let out a breath and closed her eyes, slowly drifting into a dreamless sleep. _

"_Forever." _

Carefully, I folded the memory back up before slipping it into the box and locking the thing once more.

I blinked away tears as I was thrust back into reality. My eyes focusing on another pair of golden ones, this time they belong to the bronze leech, Edward.

"I'm sorry." He whispered gently and I was confused, cause like what did he have to be sorry for?

Unless I blurted that whole thing out loud, I'm pretty sure it was simply a memory, and those usually remain in your head.

He chuckled hollowly and pointed to himself "Mind reader."

My mouth fell open and I blushed "Damn, why did nobody tell me that!" I spat, turning to glare accusingly at the mass of trees behind me where the pack resided.

I was met with snorts and snarls.

Edward laughed slightly, his eyes sparkling with secrets and Jacob's answering growl was quite menacing.

Jake's russet wolf lurched toward me and nudged me back in the direction of the woods where the pack was waiting.

I stuck my tongue out at him but didn't meet his questioning eyes and simply turned my back on the vamps and walked towards the trees.

"It's been fun Cullen's but Jake's going all big brother, so I'll catch you after the show." I threw a wink over my shoulder to which I got a few chuckles from the leeches before skipping back into the safety of the forest.

I knew there would be questions about my zone out session. Especially from Jake, who kept throwing worried glances my way every once and a while.

Sam gave me a pointed look when I walked into the area where the pack had settled, rolling my eyes, I turned to meet his gaze.

"Sorry boss, it was an accident I swear." I threw my hands up in surrender before seating myself next to Seth and leaning on his warm fur. Jake had sat next to Sam and the dogs were all in various lazy positions, but their alert eyes were all trained on the Cullen's.

The blonde one whos name I had already forgotten got up to demonstrate some fighting moves. I watched with moderate interest and braided Seth's fur, much to his annoyance. I could tell because he kept giving me pointed looks and trying to shake me off, which only added to the fun.

By the time the vamps were done, I considered myself an educated Vampire ninja killer and I heard Edward speak up.

"They want to get our scents so they don't get us mixed up in the fight." He declared with his pretty voice and I took me a moment to process what he was talking about.

Ohhhhhhh the pack, right.

Maybe I should start paying attention.

But what fun would that be?

"Okay" Agreed Carlisle and all the wolves around me started to stand, their bones creaking as they stretched.

I smiled and I stood myself, before attempting to dash passed the pack and back into the clearing.

Now I say attempt because stupid Jacob Black caught my sweater sleeve gently between his teeth, preventing me from running off again.

"Stupid Canine" I muttered as I struggled to get out of his grip, he snorted and wheezed a laugh in reply.

So he tugged me along as he walked into the clearing and deposited me in the far left corner of the meadow, away from all the action. Throwing me a dark warning look he sauntered off to join the rest of the pack in their little smelling brigade.

I watched silently as Jake made his way to Bella. She reached out gentle fingers and combed them through his hair and he leaned down and licked her face. "Jake!" She shrieked and swatted at him as he laughed, his eyes dancing with amusement.

Cold pain and hot anger fused in my veins and I turned away glaring into the trees so I wouldn't have to see their stupid interactions. But an indiscernible noise caught my attention and I turned slightly to meet the dark eyes of the blonde vamp who had demonstrated all the fighting.

He was bent over at the waist, his hands wrapped tightly around his torso as a tiny little vampire with a bob of spikey black hair fluttered worriedly around him. His eyes remained on me and he hissed through his teeth, but it wasn't meant to frighten me, it was a sound of broken agony. His eyes bore into mine, and I was vaguely aware that everyone had stopped their motions, including Bella and Jakes little love fest.

As that thought hit my mind a fresh wave of loneliness and sorrow rolled through me, the edges of the darkness threatened to consume me once again.

Blondie fell to his knees, eyes shut tightly as he screamed, and I stumbled back in shock.

"Stop!" shrieked the little pixie vampire, her concerned eyes meeting mine over blondie's head.

"Please your hurting him!"

"How?" I answered curiously, walking forward closer to the peculiar couple.

"Your emotions" She breathed, rubbing soothing circles on the mans back "He can feel them."

_Oh _I thought stupidly. My pain, he felt it.

"My bad" I mumbled before shoving at the heavy pain, pushing it back into the dusty corners of my heart.

The result was instantaneous and the odd vampire opened his eyes. Letting out a long relieved breath, he stood up and tucked the pixie under his arm. She stood on her tiptoes to place a sweet kiss on his cheek and I couldn't help the jealousy that rocked through me.

Lucky bastards were in love.

After a long awkward moment in which I didn't meet anyone's eyes, the pack resumed their sniffing and I resumed glaring into the trees and cussing Jacob Black to the depths of Hell.

The shuffling and stamping of feet alerted me to the fact that the pack was beginning to leave. I noticed Jacob linger close to Bella, he seemed to be having a silent conversation with Eddy boy. Angrily I ran at lightening speed across the clearing and swung myself onto Brady's back. He took off into the trees and I closed my eyes pressing my face into his shoulder blades and trying to forget the hurt.

_%%_77_&&_$$_((_**_))_%%_^^_lalalalala

The obnoxious ringing of my phone woke me up from the delicious clutches of sleep. Sitting up I groggily assessed that I had made it to my bed before knocking out cold, and I was still in my clothes from last night, or shall I say morning? Because it was three AM when I had finally returned from the interesting vamp session.

Standing up I blindly searched for my phone and without looking at the caller pressed it to my ear.

"Hullo?" I yawned, lying back on my bed.

"Oh hi Amber, this is Blake. I hope I didn't wake you?" He questioned bashfully and I sat up straight again blinking furiously to get the sleep out of my eyes.

"Wha- No! Of course you didn't wake me," turning to the clock I saw it was already 12:30 in the afternoon. "I was just uh, doing the dishes!" Smacking my forehead I grinded my teeth at the stupid excuse, I was a complete bumbling idiot.

He chuckled and I smiled "Alright then, well I was wondering if today was a better day to accompany me to that diner?" He asked, the hopefulness in his voice made it almost impossible for me to say no.

"Sure thing Blake," I smiled brightly, already searching in my standing and moving towards the bathroom. "There's only one diner in La Push, so I'm assuming you're talking about Margaret's café? Down near first beach?"

"Yeah that's the one! What time do you wanna meet?" He questioned.

"Hmm, give me thirty minutes and I'll be there."

"Perfect, I'll see you then Amber."

"See you" I smiled before hanging up and practically throwing myself in the shower.

While washing my hair I decided that Blake was a sweet guy and I'd be a fool not to give him a try. Besides it's not like I had a boyfriend, Jake was already so caught up in Bella. Besides Blake seemed like he could be a much needed breath of fresh air, away from all this supernatural stuff.

Grinning I shut off the water and toweled off before brushing out my mess of curls.

Walking out with only a towel around my body, I put on a fresh pair of panties and bra and applied some deodorant. I pulled on a black *Volcom t shirt and a pair of dark wash skinny's. With an over sized silver purse thrown over my shoulder, I clicked my bracelet on and slid my feet into some flip-flops.

Sliding down the railing of my staircase, I was actually surprised at the excitement that bloomed in my chest. Maybe it was just the fact that I was getting out and doing something fun after all this depressing crap that had stolen away my life.

I grabbed my keys and made a beeline for the door, dad was already at the hospital. You know how life is, no rest for those doctors, there was always someone who needed to be taken car of.

It was 4 minutes and 27 seconds later that I pulled into the parking lot of Margret's and I couldn't help the smile on my face as I jumped out and practically ran through the glass doors.

Searching the red leather booths, I saw Blake in the back corner, his mop of curls faced me as he was bent over his vanilla milk shake.

Grinning I hurried over and slid into the seat in front of him.

"Hey Bla-"

His head shot up at the sound of my voice and his eyes, oh his eyes is what cut me off mid greeting.

They were pitch black.

A tremble tore through me as I stared back, unable to move from his rage filled gaze. His expression was almost inhuman, his face was contorted in fury and his cheeks were flushed, but this time not with bashfulness. No, this time his face was flushed from unrelenting anger.

Where had the sweet guy at school gone? This shaking male in front of me did not match up with the blushing boy from my math class.

Wait, shaking?

But I couldn't analyze that because Blake had opened his mouth and uttered three words that shook me to the core.

"He marked you."

What the fucking shit?

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	23. Chapter 23

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"_He marked you"_

_What the fucking shit? _

I realized his cold black eyes had zeroed in on the mark adorning my neck, unconsciously I swept my hair over the spot, effectively hiding it from his view.

He growled.

I looked back into his paralyzing eyes "Blake wha- I don't know what you're talking about." I muttered lamely.

He snarled lowly, leaning his body over the table he yanked one of my fiddling hands and pulled me closer. Swooping down he skimmed his nose along the arc of my neck and his chest rumbled with a barely contained roar.

"Why?" he snapped finally releasing me. I fell back against the obnoxious red leather seat and stared at him with wide eyes.

"Why what Blake? I don't under-" He cut me off with another growl.

"Don't play dumb with me Amber, I know that those boys are shifters, but what I don't understand is why you let him mark you?" His voice grew dangerously low at the end and I bit my lip, eyeing the exit.

"I- He- How do you know that?" I asked, my wit returning as I glared right back.

He smirked and reclined in his seat, wrapping his hands around his head in a leisure position.

"You didn't answer my question."

"And you didn't answer mine, Mr. Jeffries." I bit back, my glare hardening.

At the mention of his name, Blake seemed to return to himself some, his eyes finally lightening to the clear golden hue that I had seen at school.

"My apologies," He murmured, dropping his gaze and his hands. "I forgot myself for a moment, I hope I haven't frightened you?" His hopeful eyes shot up to mine with earnest.

"No, but I would like to know how the hell you know about them." I snapped coldly, not willing to put down my guard yet.

Blake nodded gravely and stared into his melting milk shake for a moment before he began to speak.

"I don't really know my origin, I was orphaned at the age of 8. My parents were dead, that's all they told me. And I was quickly handed off to my great aunt in Vermont." He swirled his pinky finger in the shake and stared out the window, remembering.

"She hated me, an old bitter women she was. Her husband left her and ran off with a younger gal and ever since she's been quite cynical." His lips twitched into a barely there smirk before they faded and his expression sobered.

"One day I walked in on her lying on the kitchen floor, she had taken a bottle of pills, there wasn't a note, I was only 16. I don't know what happened, honestly I was just so _full _of emotions, I well, I exploded." He turned to look back at me with a grim smile. "Into a giant dog."

Chuckling humorlessly he stared back out the window. "Of course I didn't know what the heck was going on so I ran, out the back door and into the woods. It took me days to finally change back, and in the time I figured I'd either gone crazy, or died right along with aunt Beth."

"When I finally was back to human form I was so relieved, but I had no clothes and I was starving. So I snuck into the first house I saw and stole some food and clothes as that innocent family slept right upstairs."

"And then I was gone again, running far far away. I could almost forget where I came from if I tried hard enough. But then I met _them," _he spat, "Some leeches, and I had just long enough to be shocked that I wasn't the only super natural being, before they jumped me."

"There were two of them, both feeding on an old couple. But the thing is, the old women reminded me of aunt Beth, so I just went _crazy, _tore them both to pieces. The couple was already dead, so I just ran again."

He swirled his pinky finger in the shake, "I've been running ever sense, whenever I came across those filthy creatures, I'd tear them apart. I guess I just had enough, so faking some papers I bought an apartment and went to school. It just so happens that school was in La Push." He smirked slightly and raised his eyes to mine.

"As soon as I arrived I knew something was up, but I never pushed it. It was my first day in the apartment, I was getting really restless, I just need to run off some steam. So I headed out back into the woods, I was wandering around in the forest when I heard them. There breathing was so loud it was impossible not too." He shot me a wink and I managed a giggle.

"I just barely managed to hide when they flew across the forest floor, chasing after a red headed leech. I of course wanted to aid the chase, but it was too dangerous, especially if they didn't accept me into the pack. So I hung back for an hour until I deemed to safe to head back home. The next day was my first day at school, and it wasn't very hard to pick them out in the crowd."

"Yeah, they do draw some attention." I murmured.

He nodded, running a hand through his curls. "I've been trying to stay low, haven't phased since the day in the woods. I don't want a territory war."

Sighing he leaned back as I tried to process all this information.

Okay so lets see here:

Blake, the sweet innocent boy we thought would be a nice breath of fresh air from the crazy life of yours truly, is actually a shape shifter himself.

And of course he has a tragic past to top the cake.

I feel like I'm in my own personal soap opera.

But on a bright note, he's still cute, and he seems to be interested in me. Hawt.

"Okay, so I think I can handle that." I muttered more to myself then him.

He chuckled and leaned across the table, grabbing my hand in a warm gentle grip.

"You still haven't answered my question Amber."

"Huh? What question?" I ask confusedly shaking my head and trying to concentrate.

Blake's eyes suddenly grew serious again and he focused on the spot Jacob had marked, hidden behind my hair.

"Why did you let him mark you?"

I shifted uncomfortably and tried to extract my hand from Blake's, but he wouldn't allow it, tightening his fingers further around mine with a tiny growl.

"How do you know he marked me? It could just be a bruise!" I argued lamely.

Snorting he shook his head, "Yeah, a bruise on your neck, very realistic Amber."

Biting my lip I gave in, "H-he imprinted on me." I whispered, looking anywhere but at him.

"Hmm" Blake mused "Last I heard he was vouching for some girl down in Forks, not you." His voice wasn't harsh, it was simply thoughtful.

But it stung nonetheless.

I merely nodded to Blake's statement.

"So he's fighting the imprint bond? He doesn't want to be with you?"

I winced, reeling back from the comment like I'd been slapped. I tried once again to tug my fingers from his but they were like a vice.

"I'm sorry, that was inconsiderate of me, of course you feel it too."

I bit my lip and tugged on my hand again.

"But don't you see Amber, he doesn't want the imprint. It's the hard truth and you need to accept it."

His eyes stared intensely into mine and he leaned across the table so his nose was only a few inches from my own.

"You could fight it too, Amber. You could fight it and be with me."

My mouth fell open and my eyes flew wide, uh wait, what?

"B-b-but J-jake…" I stuttered, my own voice betraying me by cracking on his name.

"Hush" Blake said softly, placing a finger over my stuttering lips. "Anything that Jake says doesn't matter, the rules he's set out for you don't apply, because he himself is not following them. He's fighting the bond, making you hurt. Why don't you try it too?" Standing he stretched, his bones creaking and cracking.

"Now I'm sorry this date didn't go as planned, but I hope there will be another in which we can talk about more trivial things." He placed a couple dollars on the table and leaned down to kiss my cheek.

"Think about it." He whispered and then he was gone, the bell on the door ringing as he left.

I don't know how long I sat there, mulling over this new piece of the puzzle.

In a way, Blake was right. Jake was constantly fighting the imprint, and he did not want to be with me by choice. So the rules that he expected me to follow weren't fair, because he was always all over Bella. And he didn't treat me that well, he seemed to have forgotten all our wonderful memories. He was a totally different Jacob now, not my best friend, not the boy I'd fallen in love with.

He was cold and arrogant. The Jacob I knew had been a stumbling, stuttering blushing, buffoon with a serious anger issue. He had changed, that was for sure. And at rare times I felt I could still catch glimpses of the old him. Maybe it would be the sparkle in his eye, or the way his feet sometimes still seemed a little too big for him.

I loved Jake. Simply his presence had the power to make my heart break into a sprint and my mouth go dry. Fate had spoken, and it had pronounced us soul mates. So why wouldn't he accept it?

Why wouldn't he accept me?

Maybe fate had been wrong, maybe just this once it had accidently messed up.

I bit my lip and tried to keep the tears at bay. Of course it was me. Of course I'm the one who lands the only imprint that doesn't work out. As if my life isn't screwy enough.

But Blake was sweet, and if there was no Jacob, if he didn't exist, I know I would have fallen in love with him.

But there _was _a Jacob and the question was, could I fall in love with someone other then him? Could I get married to another man? Have his children? Make him break fast? Kiss his cheek before he went to work?

Could I live without Jake, my supposed soul mate?

My heart automatically clenched in fear, my whole being wanted Jacob, yearned for him. I hated even the thought of not being with him.

But Blake seemed different. With just what I saw today I knew he could take care of me, grow to love me. Maybe with him I could finally get my happy ending.

Slowly standing up I realized I was the only person in the diner besides a teenage girl standing behind the register. She was texting rapidly on her cell phone and smacking gum inside her cheek.

As I opened the door to leave she muttered a dull "Have a nice day."

I called back a "You too" with the same amount of enthusiasm.

Trudging to my car I drove down the road absently, everything was so confusing.

How was I supposed to pick between a guy I'm in love with but doesn't love me back and a guy with endless possibilities of love but none at the moment? Could it even work with Blake? We barely knew each other, but if I was totally honest with myself, I liked him.

There was definitely an attraction there.

Sighing I pulled up at Sam and Emily's house, I must have unconsciously driven here.

Hopping out I decided that I would have to wait for a little while. I mean there was a battle on the horizon! I shouldn't be distracted with my own love life when lives were at stake. So shoving the indecision to the back part of my mind I marched up the porch steps with the determination to sort out my muddled thoughts another time.

Shouldering open the door, I knew now what I had to do. Sam needed to be informed that there was another wolf on the La Push lands.

Even though I was pretty sure Blake was harmless, Sam was still my alpha, I owed a duty to my pack first.

_Here goes nothing _I mused, "Sam?"

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